One of the things, that I never understood with the Mallus' is that their obsession with the Traditional dress Saree. What is, all this fuss about?? A women who does not know how to wear a saree or who do not wear saree in the 'proper' way or is not interested in wearing the said attire, is not considered to be a woman at all!!
Besides, has anyone ever thought about the trouble one goes through after wearing a saree. It is the most uncomfortable dress of all. It makes you feel self conscious everytime someone looks at you (which obviously is not under your control). It is also very difficult for someone to travel, especially in public transportation (by that I mean Kerala transport buses).The climate should be exactly moderate..that is .. not too hot...not raining at all... otherwise.. you are in hell of a trouble..
The people who support the concept of saree does not wear it properly or, if I might say, 'decently'... the middle part of their body would be still showing... and their excuse is "ഓ ... ഇതൊക്കെ ഇപ്പൊ ആരാ നോക്കുന്നെ !!! (translation : who is bothered about this anyways !!!) ...
I would admit that even an ugly duckling like me, looks good in it... but what is more important?? looking 'good' (most of the time for others) or feeling comfy and confident...
I once heard an elder woman (35 +) say... " അല്ലെങ്ങില്ലും ആന്നുങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് പെണ്ണുങ്ങള്‍ സാരീ ഉടുക്കുന്നതാ ഇഷ്ടം.. സാരീ ഉടുക്കുമ്പോ പെന്ന്പില്ലര്രെ കാണാന്‍ നല്ല രസമാ... നമ്മുടെ ശരീരഖടന നല്ലതു പോല്ലേ അറിയാന്‍ പറ്റും... എന്റ്റെ അഭിപ്രായത്തില്‍ എല്ലാ പെന്നുങ്ങല്ലും എപ്പോഴും സാരീ ഉടുത്തോണ്ട് നടക്കണം... എന്നാല്ലേ അന്നുങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് അവരോട് താല്പരിയം തോന്നു... "
(translation: "Men like women wearing saree..women looks good in saree and helps in showing off their physical structure..in my opinion... women should wear saree all the time..only then men be interested in them"....)
OHHHHH MY GAWD!!!!! Why don't you just shoot me !!!
I guess...it has all come down to "HOW MEN LIKE TO SEE WOMEN".... what world are we living in...
When I was in college..some of the girls in my class.. decided to wear saree on a particular day.. like everything else.. I stayed out of it... so the day came...as decided these girls (who were/ are very beautiful both inside and outside) came to the college wearing saree... I saw one of my guy classmates going wild and preferring to stick with the ones who wore saree.... instead of his usual crowd.. he even told them..."Please don't make me lose my control"... (!!!!)....which I guess the girls took as a compliment from the part of the wanna be attainable goal in their lives (the man)... he even came over and asked me... "Why didn't you wear a saree?? You would look good in it??" At that time.. I was friends with him.. so I just said.. " I don't like wearing it".. and I moved along....
I have observed, men change the way they are around you or with you when you are wearing a saree...preferably for the first time... they become more 'friendly' and 'helpful' and want to be on the premises of your presence....they make sure wherever they stand they can see you... and also makes sure that you see them looking at you... ummm.... may be ...suddenly it seems like you are the one that seeks all the attention from them (because that is the most important thing in a woman's life... being noticed by a man... right !!!)....
The interesting thing is that, the people who are associated with the Teaching Profession (like say..me) are the real victims. The argument is that, if only a woman wears saree she is considered to be a teacher.
Its not how well you are with the students,or how competent you are with your subject, or how talented and creative you are in making your class interesting, but are you wearing a saree or not or do you know how to wear a saree 'properly' or atleast are you interested in wearing it (if not ..sorry... we can't consider you as a teacher, most importantly as a woman ..next !!!).
Does the students really worry about what their teachers' are wearing!!! Shouldn't the rule be "dress decently and appropriately without having to compromise your individuality"...
As a person, who belongs to the teaching profession, I was bound to wear saree for sometime in my life... I always thought my life hangs in the needle of a bunch of safety pins. ( I used to pin more than 5 of them.. otherwise... jeez.. I can't even think about it...I guess there is a reason why they are called 'safety' pins)
My colleagues never understood my hesistation and despise towards this dress... they all liked / loved it, preferred to wear it and felt so full of it... but as always.. they were lovely, kind and helpful whenever I was having trouble with it-both outwardly and inwardly...
I remember this one time.. when I was a teenager.. I asked my mother to help me wear a saree... just to see how would I look in it..(forgive me... for I was bearly 15).. so after wearing it.. I didn't feel anything special ..but my neighbour lady/aunty saw me and said...
" ഇപ്പൊ കണ്ടാ ഒരു കല്യാന്നപെന്നിന്നെ പോല്ലേ ഉണ്ട്" ... (translation: "You look like a bride now"...) nice thing to say to a 14 year old.. and then she turned to my mother and completed the statement.. "സൂക്ഷിച്ചോ .. ആരെങ്ങില്ലും വന്നു ഇവളെ തട്ടിക്കൊണ്ടു പോയി കല്യാണം കഴിക്കും "...(translation: "be careful.. someone will kidnap her and marry her") -another nice thing to say to the mother of a 14 year old- (again..it all comes to the men and how they want women to be !!!)
I guess it is okay to shove something onto your life in the name of 'culture' and 'tradition' and expect you to get used to it as time goes by... no matter how much you disagree, hesistate or feel uncomfortable...
The most frequent advice that I heard from my parents, " അവളെ
കണ്ടോ ... അവള്‍ക്ക് ഒരു കുഴപ്പവും ഇല്ലല്ലോ... നിനക്കു മാത്രം എന്താ ഇത്ര പ്രതെഗത " (translation: "look at her.. she doesn't have any problem with it.. why do you think yourself as someone special??") This 'her' they are referring to could be anybody..even a character from some 70's movie....
So, the question I would like to ask is,
what is important??
Wearing a saree (looking good in it for the spectators and as in my case ..and only in my case... feeling miserable) or how good you are (in your personal and professional life)??
The attitude or the attire??
more or less...
Tradition or Convenience???
You tell me...
