I am in the middle of reading Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife..borrowed from a dear friend of mine.. so far the book hasn't put me into sleep..so I am guessing it is going to have a nice ending...the book is about a guy who has a genetic disorder which causes him to unvoluntarily travel through time..
I have always been fascinated by time travelling..probably the reason why I saw Back to the Future Triology a thousand times.. being obessessed with the TV series, Heroes... and reading this international best seller now...
I used to (still) get these visions of my 'self' travelling through time..I just wanted to share this with somebody..so here goes..
Vision No: 1
Time - (Begiinning of the year 2007)..
I was working at a college in Kerala at that time.. so hooked up (still am) on Heroes and the Japanese time traveller Hiro Nakamora... after getting down from the bus, I had to walk for almost 10 mins through a field in order to get to the college.. as I am always early..nobody else will be there on these roads.. so there I was walking with my bag and umbrella..as usual talking to myself..suddenly I find myself somewhere else..wearing the same clothes.. I couldn't make out the place or the time..it seemed like a corridor..but is it?? not sure..so I stand there bewildered..looking around..having no idea what to do.. suddenly I see somebody coming towards me.. I couldn't make out who it was at first..then the image got closer..
IT WAS ME !!
I had short hair..(like I have right now).. I was a little fatter..but good fat.. I was wearing a suit.. kind of a business woman..I liked that look.. immediately I realised I AM IN THE FUTURE..my future.. I spared the introduction to my future 'self'.. and asked,
"What year is it?"
"Itz 2012"...(she had this English accent, which is like, she has been living in an English speaking country for sometime now)..
"5 years.. 5 years in the future..so how are you?"..
"I am great..How are you doing?"..
"OK..lets make it short.. what happened?"..
"What do you mean?"..
"Something bad must have happened.so you wanted to change it..isn't that why you called me here?"..
"I didn't call anybody.. you came by your own"..
"Oh..Ok.. by the way.. you look good"..
"Thanks"..
"Why did you cut your hair short?"..
"coz..I like it this way"..
"Oh..that's new..so.. where are you?? what are you doing now"?
"I am sorry..I can't tell you anything"..
"Oh come on.. tell me something so that I can work on it"..
"No..Sorry"..
"Wait a minute.. you are not... you are not 'married'.. are you?? please tell me .. you are not married"..
" I told you.. I can't tell you anything"..
Oh..nooooooo... you are married.. how could you do that to me !!! "... I started whining and she ( I mean 'me') didn't say anything until I stopped.. when I stopped, she looked at me and asked..
"Are you done?".. she seemed so calm, peaceful, confident and successful..which was so unlike me.. there was something comforting about her.. I felt safe.. I felt like a girl being stubborn with her mother for not buying her favourite toy.. I didn't know what to say..
"Listen... I didn't tell you that I was married"..
"So.. you're not married"..
"I didn't say that either"..
"So you are neither 'single' nor 'married'.. oh my god!! divorced..thats even worse.. if you are widowed..then I would say.."wow"..if that's the case..you got rid of the guy..and its not your fault.. plus you get all the sympathy"...
"Wilya just shut up for one minute?".. (there was that English accent again)..
"Where are you?? I mean which country?"..
"I can't tellya"..
"Ok.. you don't want to say anything..fine.. I will just guess that you are married"..
"Why are so obessessed with this whole idea of 'marriage'...itz not an entirely bad thing"..
"Ok..don't try to brain wash me"...
"I am not trying to do anything... listen..even if I am married..which I am not saying I am..or I am not.. don't you think that it would have happened bcoz it was the right time to happen"..
"Yeah..right"..
"Listen..things happen..whether you do something or don't do anything..but remember whatever happens it will only happen when you are absolutely ready for it.. even if it is cutting your hair short"..
For sometime, we didn't talk to each other..then she broke the silence...
"I think itz time forya to go back to your time?".. ( I wasn't sure how though..) but I said..
"OK"..
I turned around ( I didn't know how that's gonna help).. and turned back to her.. she was kindly waiting for me to leave..I asked her..
"Hey..are you....are you happy?"...
She smiled.. I know that smile.. its the one I usually give out when I am all by myself.. when nobody is watching me.. the sincere one.. and she replied..
"More than you could ever imagine"..
Thats all I wanted to hear.. before I knew I was back to my time and on my way to college again..wondering whether it all actually happened or was it a blackout or just a fantasy ride..
And guess what.. after 8 months..I was actually on my way to an English speaking country with my hair cut short..
May be I was just seeing the way I wanted to see my'self' in the future...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Dreams..Dreams..So Amazing!!!
I think I am changing... my attitude, my character, my outlook, my demands, my needs and everything else is changing... maybe because I have finally reached a stage where I realise that I can't have the things I want... it is easy to say what you want..but earning it is an entirely different thing...
I have always wondered... what would have happened to me if I had taken a different path.. a different choice... a different turn.. what would my life will be now??
I am really tired these days.. it is not only tiredness.. I am bored, frustrated, disappointed, disgusted, irritated, annoyed and all those other bad things that one could think of.
I am sleeping a lot... which I am not supposed to.. because of the kind of work I have to do.. but I love to sleep, because of these amazing dreams I have..I have always been awed by my dreams... they have these amazing continuity and structure...its like watching a movie or something...
The best part is... all my story ideas happen in my dreams.. not only that .... all the wonderful ideas I had so far happened in my dreams... the dreams that I see when I sleep in the afternoon...I call it my 'idea nap'... after the afternoon nap.. I will have atleast three story threads at hand...
But my night sleeps.. the real ones a human being has to take.. are so alive and exciting... it always reminds me of my past... my ornamental teenage years.. which I need to forget ...but the ones which I never want to....
Yesterday... (I really cant call it yesterday..as I went to sleep today at 3am).. I saw Him in my sleep... as always.. standing where He usually stands.. He was going inside His house... He looked old.. there were traces of greyness in his hair... and he also had a thick moustache.. of which He seemed so proud of... I thought He will shut the door like He always does.. He has this amazing way of breaking my heart.. of which He is an expert... to my surprise.. He didnt.. He came out and he looked at me and he smiled at me.. eventhough I was sleeping at that time..I could feel my heart beat.. He came a little further and waved his hand towards me... finally, after all these years He acknowledged my presence, my existence...my being infront of him... I smiled back at him with gratitude.. I was asking for forgiveness through my eyes... for leaving Him, for leaving us, everything we had... to chase my dreams...I was selfish.. I was prudent... I was afraid of losing... but what I never realised was I already lost the best thing that has ever happened to me...He never said a word.. He maintained his silence throughout the years.. now I realise.. the reason why he always shut the door whenever he saw me.. was because he knew what was going to happen between us.. he knew the whole time.. he just wanted me to realise it by myself...
Everyone has moved on..including Him...what about me?? I was the one who left..without even giving an explanation..but it seems like.. I stayed behind.. with my memories and my dreams... which I believe will stay with me for as long as I live...because the only way I can see Him ever again.. is in my memories which are so vague and foggy...and in my amazing dreams...
I have always wondered... what would have happened to me if I had taken a different path.. a different choice... a different turn.. what would my life will be now??
I am really tired these days.. it is not only tiredness.. I am bored, frustrated, disappointed, disgusted, irritated, annoyed and all those other bad things that one could think of.
I am sleeping a lot... which I am not supposed to.. because of the kind of work I have to do.. but I love to sleep, because of these amazing dreams I have..I have always been awed by my dreams... they have these amazing continuity and structure...its like watching a movie or something...
The best part is... all my story ideas happen in my dreams.. not only that .... all the wonderful ideas I had so far happened in my dreams... the dreams that I see when I sleep in the afternoon...I call it my 'idea nap'... after the afternoon nap.. I will have atleast three story threads at hand...
But my night sleeps.. the real ones a human being has to take.. are so alive and exciting... it always reminds me of my past... my ornamental teenage years.. which I need to forget ...but the ones which I never want to....
Yesterday... (I really cant call it yesterday..as I went to sleep today at 3am).. I saw Him in my sleep... as always.. standing where He usually stands.. He was going inside His house... He looked old.. there were traces of greyness in his hair... and he also had a thick moustache.. of which He seemed so proud of... I thought He will shut the door like He always does.. He has this amazing way of breaking my heart.. of which He is an expert... to my surprise.. He didnt.. He came out and he looked at me and he smiled at me.. eventhough I was sleeping at that time..I could feel my heart beat.. He came a little further and waved his hand towards me... finally, after all these years He acknowledged my presence, my existence...my being infront of him... I smiled back at him with gratitude.. I was asking for forgiveness through my eyes... for leaving Him, for leaving us, everything we had... to chase my dreams...I was selfish.. I was prudent... I was afraid of losing... but what I never realised was I already lost the best thing that has ever happened to me...He never said a word.. He maintained his silence throughout the years.. now I realise.. the reason why he always shut the door whenever he saw me.. was because he knew what was going to happen between us.. he knew the whole time.. he just wanted me to realise it by myself...
Everyone has moved on..including Him...what about me?? I was the one who left..without even giving an explanation..but it seems like.. I stayed behind.. with my memories and my dreams... which I believe will stay with me for as long as I live...because the only way I can see Him ever again.. is in my memories which are so vague and foggy...and in my amazing dreams...
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Burn Fat Burn !!!!
I was considered to be a puny child.. in my early teen years I was an extremely thin girl who invited everybody's attention... Often, people used to ask my mother about my eating habits and she had to answer them politely..and get angry with me later for no reason at all...
I enjoyed being slim.. because I looked good in the mirror..those buldging bones on my lower neck.... fleshless hands and especially and more importantly those flat abs..ah..those were the days!!!
When I hit the age 18.. my body started changing..from nowhere I became 52 kgs from 39 kgs.. which was really good for my height.. and I acquired a certain structure for my body which was widely appreciated and admired...
Well... that was only for a short time..after that I started to takeup an eating disorder and everything went out of control...within 2 years of time I have gained 14 kgs and didnt even notice it...it was when I started to suffer severe pain in my right knee and we consulted a doctor and she told me to reduce weight...
It was not so easy to reduce weight when you live with your parents.. as they never allow you to diet...because "you look fine to me... and you don't eat what ever you are supposed to eat..and if you start diet.. I am telling you ..you will disappear and we will have to search for you"... good joke..
That was the time when I moved to Tamil nadu for my masters'.. and stayed at the hostel.. one of my degree classmate was there with me and she was shocked to see me as I caused her to suffocate because of my overweight...
Somehow I made a decision to lose some weight and become my old self... but it was not easy.. as I was in mid 20s and it is not that easy to lose weight at that age...but anyhow..I was determined...
Our hostel had a gym..free of cost and I was the only one who used it constantly.. our hostel food was so terrible that I was actually happy to go on a diet...
After 3 months of diet and exercise... I lost 9 kilos.... I became jealous of myself.. but I didn't stop there.. I worked even harder and lost 3 more kilos... now I was back where I started... 6 yrs ago...
But as I was progressing in my weightloss venture, I became more greedy and tried even harder... by that time I was back home after my studies...surrounded with good food and encouragement to eat more and more.. but I controlled myself and managed to lose 2 more kilos thus acquiring a very balanced BMI for my height...
When I came to UK.. I was 48 kgs.. I was so happy and proud of myself that I let myself slide away from diet and exercise..so after 8 months of no dieting and on and off exercise routines I have gained 8 kilos... which is outrageous..now I am at the border line of being overweight as before...
So I have started my diet and exercises on a full swing..only thing is I am not losing weight as fast as I did 3 yrs ago... it is very hard now.. I have to work twice as hard as before.. may be because of the increase in age and the character of my daily routines are the main cause..
I have to lose 6 kilos and 20 inches all through my body in total... I am not sure how long its going to take ...but I will reach there eventually...
Whenever I go to the gym or do my ab exercises inside my room, I always get tired or bored pretty fast.. so I just say to myself... Burn..fat..burn.. as a motivational slogan in order to pull myself up and work even harder...
I enjoyed being slim.. because I looked good in the mirror..those buldging bones on my lower neck.... fleshless hands and especially and more importantly those flat abs..ah..those were the days!!!
When I hit the age 18.. my body started changing..from nowhere I became 52 kgs from 39 kgs.. which was really good for my height.. and I acquired a certain structure for my body which was widely appreciated and admired...
Well... that was only for a short time..after that I started to takeup an eating disorder and everything went out of control...within 2 years of time I have gained 14 kgs and didnt even notice it...it was when I started to suffer severe pain in my right knee and we consulted a doctor and she told me to reduce weight...
It was not so easy to reduce weight when you live with your parents.. as they never allow you to diet...because "you look fine to me... and you don't eat what ever you are supposed to eat..and if you start diet.. I am telling you ..you will disappear and we will have to search for you"... good joke..
That was the time when I moved to Tamil nadu for my masters'.. and stayed at the hostel.. one of my degree classmate was there with me and she was shocked to see me as I caused her to suffocate because of my overweight...
Somehow I made a decision to lose some weight and become my old self... but it was not easy.. as I was in mid 20s and it is not that easy to lose weight at that age...but anyhow..I was determined...
Our hostel had a gym..free of cost and I was the only one who used it constantly.. our hostel food was so terrible that I was actually happy to go on a diet...
After 3 months of diet and exercise... I lost 9 kilos.... I became jealous of myself.. but I didn't stop there.. I worked even harder and lost 3 more kilos... now I was back where I started... 6 yrs ago...
But as I was progressing in my weightloss venture, I became more greedy and tried even harder... by that time I was back home after my studies...surrounded with good food and encouragement to eat more and more.. but I controlled myself and managed to lose 2 more kilos thus acquiring a very balanced BMI for my height...
When I came to UK.. I was 48 kgs.. I was so happy and proud of myself that I let myself slide away from diet and exercise..so after 8 months of no dieting and on and off exercise routines I have gained 8 kilos... which is outrageous..now I am at the border line of being overweight as before...
So I have started my diet and exercises on a full swing..only thing is I am not losing weight as fast as I did 3 yrs ago... it is very hard now.. I have to work twice as hard as before.. may be because of the increase in age and the character of my daily routines are the main cause..
I have to lose 6 kilos and 20 inches all through my body in total... I am not sure how long its going to take ...but I will reach there eventually...
Whenever I go to the gym or do my ab exercises inside my room, I always get tired or bored pretty fast.. so I just say to myself... Burn..fat..burn.. as a motivational slogan in order to pull myself up and work even harder...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Outperforming 'X' a.k.a The 'X' Factor
Based on a true story
If there seemed to be any resemblance to the characters or the incidents mentioned, it is purely on purpose.
Do you have someone in your life, whom you regret to have known or befriended? Whom you can't get out of your mind, no matter how much you try?
The worst thing is whatever you do, you do it to show them and make them regret what they have done to you, but it doesn't affect them at all, and it kind of back fires at you and there is nothing you can do about it.
I have someone like that in my life. Lets call this person 'X', shall we? I will also be referring 'X' as 'It', as an effort taken inorder to not to reveal 'Its' true gender.
I met X in my early teen years. Even though, we had heard about each other as someone's daughter or son, we never really interacted with each other. We belonged to different social circles and we didn't have any common friends at that moment.
As fate had already got its blueprint, X and I met and became acquaintances and slowly we became good friends. One thing about X is that, you can either hate or love X, but you just can't ignore X.
X is very nice, sweet, understanding and all those other things that you expect from a friend. Without your knowledege, you will start believing in whatever X tells you, because X is a good narrator and a story teller.
Well... this is what 'X' pretends to be.. in reality X is cunning, crude, pretentious, hyprocritic, manipulative,a liar and whatever other negative traits you can come up with.. X can define it to you by Its doings and sayings...
I had the misfortune to be associated with X for sometime in my life...and I regret that from the bottom of my heart.. Eventhough X and I haven't met each other in person for over 10 years now..we are still 'good' friends and we still keep in touch through emails and forwaded messages..It even calls me once in a blue moon...
I began to realise what X really is.. when It stabbed me on the back, when I least expected it.. or didn't expect it at all.. that was the time when I came to know..the true face of X.. the one I saw... was all an act... and I could never imagine it in my wildest dreams..I actually trusted X and told It my inner most secrets.. and It used all those things against me.. and even publicised it...
When I confronted X, well.. I never got a chance for that..and I don't want too..because I know no good can come out of it..
When I told our common friends, what X is really like.. they didn't believe me.. infact, they told me that I am jealous of X, because of Its positivity in everything.. I was absolutely shocked...
I lost some of my friends when I stopped my friendship with X.. those were friendship with association...
Now, X has become this obsession with me..whatever I do, I do it to show X that I am leading a better life than It... when I did my education.. when I went to work.. when I lost my excess weight.. when I passed some prestigious exams.. when I got admission to some of the universities in England...when I came to England for my higher studies.. and the kind of life that I lead right now...its all something I want X to know.. whenever I go somewhere I take my camera with me.. so that I can take some pictures of the beautiful places I see and put it in orkut..so that X can see it and get jealous.. but..nooooo...X doesn't even care.. what I do, where I go... doesn't make an impact on X..
Eventhough we are in completely different sectors of the career industry, X has made it clear to me that whatever I do for a living is everyone's cup of tea..and doesn't need any effort or training to do it.. and what It does for the daily bread is only possible for people of high intelligence...whatever chance It gets to shatter my self-confidence, It never avoids those oppurtunities...
Its really sad when I think about it.. one of my best friendship has taken this ugly turn and can't be mended anymore... but X has taught me alot about life and myself..
X has taught me not to trust anybody and keep a distance from everybody.. whatever you see doesn't have to be whatever you get.. and most importantly, I am not the loser that I think I am...
Eventhough, X has hurt me so bad... It has become this motivational force that I use to achieve my goals...everything that I do is to outperform X.. the X factor is pretty strong in my life..whenever I want to lose some fat (like right now).. or I want to try out something completely new and I am scared to death to do so.. I just think about how I want to appear before X.. and that's all I need to do.. everything else will fall into place..
Even now.. I am thinking... on a bizzare occassion.. X reads my blog, calls me up and asks me , "Is this about me?".. and once and for all.. I would like to say,
" Not everything in this world is about you"...
If there seemed to be any resemblance to the characters or the incidents mentioned, it is purely on purpose.
Do you have someone in your life, whom you regret to have known or befriended? Whom you can't get out of your mind, no matter how much you try?
The worst thing is whatever you do, you do it to show them and make them regret what they have done to you, but it doesn't affect them at all, and it kind of back fires at you and there is nothing you can do about it.
I have someone like that in my life. Lets call this person 'X', shall we? I will also be referring 'X' as 'It', as an effort taken inorder to not to reveal 'Its' true gender.
I met X in my early teen years. Even though, we had heard about each other as someone's daughter or son, we never really interacted with each other. We belonged to different social circles and we didn't have any common friends at that moment.
As fate had already got its blueprint, X and I met and became acquaintances and slowly we became good friends. One thing about X is that, you can either hate or love X, but you just can't ignore X.
X is very nice, sweet, understanding and all those other things that you expect from a friend. Without your knowledege, you will start believing in whatever X tells you, because X is a good narrator and a story teller.
Well... this is what 'X' pretends to be.. in reality X is cunning, crude, pretentious, hyprocritic, manipulative,a liar and whatever other negative traits you can come up with.. X can define it to you by Its doings and sayings...
I had the misfortune to be associated with X for sometime in my life...and I regret that from the bottom of my heart.. Eventhough X and I haven't met each other in person for over 10 years now..we are still 'good' friends and we still keep in touch through emails and forwaded messages..It even calls me once in a blue moon...
I began to realise what X really is.. when It stabbed me on the back, when I least expected it.. or didn't expect it at all.. that was the time when I came to know..the true face of X.. the one I saw... was all an act... and I could never imagine it in my wildest dreams..I actually trusted X and told It my inner most secrets.. and It used all those things against me.. and even publicised it...
When I confronted X, well.. I never got a chance for that..and I don't want too..because I know no good can come out of it..
When I told our common friends, what X is really like.. they didn't believe me.. infact, they told me that I am jealous of X, because of Its positivity in everything.. I was absolutely shocked...
I lost some of my friends when I stopped my friendship with X.. those were friendship with association...
Now, X has become this obsession with me..whatever I do, I do it to show X that I am leading a better life than It... when I did my education.. when I went to work.. when I lost my excess weight.. when I passed some prestigious exams.. when I got admission to some of the universities in England...when I came to England for my higher studies.. and the kind of life that I lead right now...its all something I want X to know.. whenever I go somewhere I take my camera with me.. so that I can take some pictures of the beautiful places I see and put it in orkut..so that X can see it and get jealous.. but..nooooo...X doesn't even care.. what I do, where I go... doesn't make an impact on X..
Eventhough we are in completely different sectors of the career industry, X has made it clear to me that whatever I do for a living is everyone's cup of tea..and doesn't need any effort or training to do it.. and what It does for the daily bread is only possible for people of high intelligence...whatever chance It gets to shatter my self-confidence, It never avoids those oppurtunities...
Its really sad when I think about it.. one of my best friendship has taken this ugly turn and can't be mended anymore... but X has taught me alot about life and myself..
X has taught me not to trust anybody and keep a distance from everybody.. whatever you see doesn't have to be whatever you get.. and most importantly, I am not the loser that I think I am...
Eventhough, X has hurt me so bad... It has become this motivational force that I use to achieve my goals...everything that I do is to outperform X.. the X factor is pretty strong in my life..whenever I want to lose some fat (like right now).. or I want to try out something completely new and I am scared to death to do so.. I just think about how I want to appear before X.. and that's all I need to do.. everything else will fall into place..
Even now.. I am thinking... on a bizzare occassion.. X reads my blog, calls me up and asks me , "Is this about me?".. and once and for all.. I would like to say,
" Not everything in this world is about you"...
Monday, June 23, 2008
Ain't it amazing!!!
Two days ago I decided to take my blogging seriously, a medium to use inorder to express my creative outlet... I sat down and began to write about the things that I want to write in my blog.. including my story ideas...
Until now.. I have come up with 27 different things to write in my blog space... I think its really cool!!!
To have alot of stuffs to say about yourself.. the people around you... your take on things.. the things you have seen, heard, said and imagined...
After writing about one thing.. I will cut it out of the list and replace it with another one... its going to be a never ending process...
So here I am.. taking this media seriously and with a list of things to speak out...
World Wide Web.. here I come !!! with the mightiest weapons ever... a keyboard and an unstoppable brain....
Until now.. I have come up with 27 different things to write in my blog space... I think its really cool!!!
To have alot of stuffs to say about yourself.. the people around you... your take on things.. the things you have seen, heard, said and imagined...
After writing about one thing.. I will cut it out of the list and replace it with another one... its going to be a never ending process...
So here I am.. taking this media seriously and with a list of things to speak out...
World Wide Web.. here I come !!! with the mightiest weapons ever... a keyboard and an unstoppable brain....
Sunday, June 22, 2008
JLM (Part 2)
So where were we?? Ah..yes..2 Sierra's... Let's call the receptionist Sierra.. Sierra A......and the other one Sierra B..
Sierra A... so disappointed in herself and in the world... strongly starts to believe the existence of the cult and begins to hate herself.. stops talking to her family.. stops going out of the house except to the office... becomes some sort of an anti-social...
Sierra B..on the otherhand.. starts to believe in herself and the people around her.. shows considerable amount of potential in the job.. improves herself through attending some workshops.. plans to rent an apartment at the upper west side of Manhattan..a place she wanted so badly, for quite some years now...
December 31st... 2006..
Both Sierra's go to the office new year's party.. both of them have only one thing in their mind.. 'Kevin'...
Eventhough Sierra B was in the 25th floor all this time... she didn't really get a chance to meet Kevin..as he was away for business purposes on several occassions...
Sierra B sees Kevin and walks towards him preparing herself to say 'hai' in her mind... she reaches his left side and without wasting much time, she says 'hai'...
Sierra B: 'Hai'
Kevin : 'Hai'
Sierra B gives out her hand for a shake: 'Sierra Anderson, business executive'..
Kevin: 'Kevin Bradley.. Vice President'.. (they shake hands)...
Sierra B (in her mind):'I know who you are!'..
Kevin: 'Hey.. weren't you one of the receptionist?'
Sierra B: (Oh..so you did notice me!!)... Yes..yes I was..but not any more...
At this time.. Sierra A comes to the scene.. she sees Kevin..walks towards him with a trembling body and heart..stands to his right side..turned to the other side..
Sierra A to herself: Just say 'hai'.. its not so hard.. its just a word 'hai'.. just say it .. will you?? Come on.. (practices different ways to say 'hai')
hai.. Hai.. HAI... oh my God!! Oh my God !!...
By this time.. Kevin and Sierra B were talking to each other.. they were really hitting it off...
Kevin: 'Hey.. are you interested in seeing my art collection in my office room?'
Sierra B: 'Sure.. I would love too...' ( I just want to be with you)...
Kevin: 'Ok then..come with me...'
They leave the party...
When Sierra A turns back, ready to say 'hai' she sees Kevin leaving the room with 'another' woman whose face she couldn't see...
Kevin and Sierra B goes to his office room and sees his art collection.. Sierra B is actually amazed by the kind of person Kevin is...
It was almost midnight... Sierra A leaves the party..as she is not interested in staying any more...She goes home, opens a bottle of vodka and starts drinking..
Kevin and Sierra B goes to the roof top.. and at the stroke of midnight.. they kiss each other...(as this is something westerners normally do.. they kiss each other at the stroke of midnight on New years')..
....to be continued
Sierra A... so disappointed in herself and in the world... strongly starts to believe the existence of the cult and begins to hate herself.. stops talking to her family.. stops going out of the house except to the office... becomes some sort of an anti-social...
Sierra B..on the otherhand.. starts to believe in herself and the people around her.. shows considerable amount of potential in the job.. improves herself through attending some workshops.. plans to rent an apartment at the upper west side of Manhattan..a place she wanted so badly, for quite some years now...
December 31st... 2006..
Both Sierra's go to the office new year's party.. both of them have only one thing in their mind.. 'Kevin'...
Eventhough Sierra B was in the 25th floor all this time... she didn't really get a chance to meet Kevin..as he was away for business purposes on several occassions...
Sierra B sees Kevin and walks towards him preparing herself to say 'hai' in her mind... she reaches his left side and without wasting much time, she says 'hai'...
Sierra B: 'Hai'
Kevin : 'Hai'
Sierra B gives out her hand for a shake: 'Sierra Anderson, business executive'..
Kevin: 'Kevin Bradley.. Vice President'.. (they shake hands)...
Sierra B (in her mind):'I know who you are!'..
Kevin: 'Hey.. weren't you one of the receptionist?'
Sierra B: (Oh..so you did notice me!!)... Yes..yes I was..but not any more...
At this time.. Sierra A comes to the scene.. she sees Kevin..walks towards him with a trembling body and heart..stands to his right side..turned to the other side..
Sierra A to herself: Just say 'hai'.. its not so hard.. its just a word 'hai'.. just say it .. will you?? Come on.. (practices different ways to say 'hai')
hai.. Hai.. HAI... oh my God!! Oh my God !!...
By this time.. Kevin and Sierra B were talking to each other.. they were really hitting it off...
Kevin: 'Hey.. are you interested in seeing my art collection in my office room?'
Sierra B: 'Sure.. I would love too...' ( I just want to be with you)...
Kevin: 'Ok then..come with me...'
They leave the party...
When Sierra A turns back, ready to say 'hai' she sees Kevin leaving the room with 'another' woman whose face she couldn't see...
Kevin and Sierra B goes to his office room and sees his art collection.. Sierra B is actually amazed by the kind of person Kevin is...
It was almost midnight... Sierra A leaves the party..as she is not interested in staying any more...She goes home, opens a bottle of vodka and starts drinking..
Kevin and Sierra B goes to the roof top.. and at the stroke of midnight.. they kiss each other...(as this is something westerners normally do.. they kiss each other at the stroke of midnight on New years')..
....to be continued
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Just Like Me (Part 1)
This is the name of a movie script that I have in mind.. I know.. the very idea of me trying out something like this.. is outrageous.. but.. it is something that my brain does.. I can't just shut it off...
This is an English film.. starring Me..(that is my 'desire to be an actress' talking)....This is about a girl having two lives at the same time.... It is about how one event can change your entire life...
So as I go through the plot I would like you to picturise the scenes.. It wouldn't be that hard.. I apologise in advance for all the cliche's and imperfectness...as you know.. it is just me.. so here goes...
JUST LIKE ME
Year: 2006
Place: Manhattan, New York
Sierra Anderson is a 26 year old Receptionist working at a big investment company in Manhattan for over three years. She lives alone at a crappy apartment in Manhattan. Sierra is not at all happy with her current life. As she knows, that, she can do more in the company she works for besides attending calls and receiving mails. She is also qualified for a higher position.
Sierra's parents live at Brooklyn. They own a restaurant there and is not at all satisfied with Sierra or her career choice. According to them, she is a disgrace to her siblings. (Sierra has one elder brother, and an elder sister -lawyer and architect- they are just for namesake, they don't have much role in the movie)..
Sierra has a best friend 'Sam'antha.. They have been friends with each other for more than 10 years. Sam is a florist..
Now comes the big problem.. Sierra believes that everybody hates her and they are all members of some kind of a cult that is named 'Let's hate Sierra'.. She thinks that everyone out there is to get her.. and wants to destroy her self confidence by ignoring her or by paying her false compliments.. for ex:- if she sees somebody she knows on the road and they are talking over the phone at that time, she would say that, that person is pretending to talk over the phone, so that they can avoid her.. If someone pays her a compliment, she thinks they mean the exact opposite thing.. she believes that everybody is laughing behind her back.. Until now, she can't find a reason for why people hate her so much..as she is a nice, friendly girl..because of this attitude she doesn't have that many friends... she also blames everyone, especially God when something bad happens to her.. she believes that this is all the result of the cult..she is also the proud owner of an alarm clock that doesn't work..
Sierra works on the 22nd floor of the company, and all the big shots of the firm have their offices at the 25th floor.. Sierra has a huge crush on a guy named (well.. lets call him) 'Kevin' for three years now and she has never talked to him.. ( I have Rahul khanna in my mind for this role.. pretty cool...ha) Kevin works at the 25th floor.. as she doesn't have the nerve to go over and talk to him, she began to convince herself that Kevin is a womaniser and a casanova type, so there is no point in talking to him, as he wouldn't be interested in talking to a receptionist..
In her mind, she knows that she is deeply in love with Kevin and her heart beats thrice as fast,whenever he comes down to the 22nd floor, and gives her a courtesy smile on his way to meet someone..
One moonlit night, she writes a heartfelt letter to Kevin, telling him how much she loves and adores him.. and how she can't even imagine him being with someone else..but she never gives this letter to him.. (don't forget this letter)..
One day, when she reaches her office ( her office time is 9 to 5.. except for Mondays.. it is 11 to 6 on Mondays. so she has a tendency to sleep in on Mondays)...one of the supervisor called Sierra to her office and told her that there is a new position opening up at the firm.. and she would like Sierra to have the job, as she has been around for some time and also she is qualified for the same..She is asked to meet the CEO on November 5th, Monday.. as that is the only day he is going to be around and that too only for 15 mins..So she is asked to meet him informally at 10 am... eventhough the job is already been set to be given to her, she has to meet him before he leaves for a 3 month business tour.. if she fails to do so, the position will be passed on to someone else before he leaves..
Sierra becomes ecstatic... as she knew after getting this job her entire life will change.. she can move to a nice place...she can afford the things she always wanted to have..she waits anxiously for November 5th.. she preps herself for the meeting..(I don't know why I chose Nov 5th.. may be its the influence of the Back to the Future, Triology..)..
Before you know..it was Sunday, November 4th.. Sierra was really happy thinking what the future beholds..she drank a little too much that day out of happiness.. she set her alarm clock to half past 7.. and went to sleep...
She woke up the next morning and found out that it is already quarter past 9... and her damn alarm let her down once again...she immediately put on the dress she had already ironed and kept ready for the day... it tears up really bad.. so she had to get another dress from her messy closet and puts it on... she runs with all her papers and gets into a taxi..the route the taxi driver takes was already jammed because of an accident.. she was stuck in traffic jam for sometime..by the time she reached the office it was already 10 o'clock... she heads to the elevator and sees an 'OUT OF ORDER' sign on it.. so she uses the stairs instead to reach the 25nd floor...it was already 20 past 10... and the CEO was leaving in his helicopter from the roof.. his assistant told her that he already appointed someone for the post just before he left...a disppointed, frustated Sierra goes back to 22nd floor to her desk and saw someone coming out of the elevator... she asks the person about the OUT OF THE ORDER sign and turns out somebody was playing a prank on them by putting up the 'OUT OF THE ORDER' sign.. (Cut there.. now we are going back to an alternate day)...
November 5th...
Sierra wakes up... she notices the dress she is about to wear is a litte torn on the side.. so she puts on another one.. she gets into a different taxi.. the driver chooses a different route than the previous one.. she reaches the building 5 minutes to 10... she runs to the elevator..sees the 'out of the order' sign... at the same moment.. the service elevator on the corner opens up... she gets in and reaches the 25th floor... just in time for the interview... she has an informal chat with the CEO... he gets really pleased with her...gives her the job and asks the supervisor who recommended her to take her to her designated office room and start an expense account by Sierra's name... both Sierra and the supervisor comes out of the CEO's office.. and goes towards the long corridor.. Sierra looks at the clock on the wall and it is 20 past 10... at the exact same moment the 'other' Sierra comes in and talks to the assistant and finds out that she lost the job...
Now we have 2 Sierras'... one with the high position working at the 25th floor and the other one, the receptionist working at the 22nd floor... both working at the same building at the same time...
From here on.. the alternate life of Sierra Anderson begins..
I hope you liked it so far..
It is time for a break now...
INTERVAL
This is an English film.. starring Me..(that is my 'desire to be an actress' talking)....This is about a girl having two lives at the same time.... It is about how one event can change your entire life...
So as I go through the plot I would like you to picturise the scenes.. It wouldn't be that hard.. I apologise in advance for all the cliche's and imperfectness...as you know.. it is just me.. so here goes...
JUST LIKE ME
Year: 2006
Place: Manhattan, New York
Sierra Anderson is a 26 year old Receptionist working at a big investment company in Manhattan for over three years. She lives alone at a crappy apartment in Manhattan. Sierra is not at all happy with her current life. As she knows, that, she can do more in the company she works for besides attending calls and receiving mails. She is also qualified for a higher position.
Sierra's parents live at Brooklyn. They own a restaurant there and is not at all satisfied with Sierra or her career choice. According to them, she is a disgrace to her siblings. (Sierra has one elder brother, and an elder sister -lawyer and architect- they are just for namesake, they don't have much role in the movie)..
Sierra has a best friend 'Sam'antha.. They have been friends with each other for more than 10 years. Sam is a florist..
Now comes the big problem.. Sierra believes that everybody hates her and they are all members of some kind of a cult that is named 'Let's hate Sierra'.. She thinks that everyone out there is to get her.. and wants to destroy her self confidence by ignoring her or by paying her false compliments.. for ex:- if she sees somebody she knows on the road and they are talking over the phone at that time, she would say that, that person is pretending to talk over the phone, so that they can avoid her.. If someone pays her a compliment, she thinks they mean the exact opposite thing.. she believes that everybody is laughing behind her back.. Until now, she can't find a reason for why people hate her so much..as she is a nice, friendly girl..because of this attitude she doesn't have that many friends... she also blames everyone, especially God when something bad happens to her.. she believes that this is all the result of the cult..she is also the proud owner of an alarm clock that doesn't work..
Sierra works on the 22nd floor of the company, and all the big shots of the firm have their offices at the 25th floor.. Sierra has a huge crush on a guy named (well.. lets call him) 'Kevin' for three years now and she has never talked to him.. ( I have Rahul khanna in my mind for this role.. pretty cool...ha) Kevin works at the 25th floor.. as she doesn't have the nerve to go over and talk to him, she began to convince herself that Kevin is a womaniser and a casanova type, so there is no point in talking to him, as he wouldn't be interested in talking to a receptionist..
In her mind, she knows that she is deeply in love with Kevin and her heart beats thrice as fast,whenever he comes down to the 22nd floor, and gives her a courtesy smile on his way to meet someone..
One moonlit night, she writes a heartfelt letter to Kevin, telling him how much she loves and adores him.. and how she can't even imagine him being with someone else..but she never gives this letter to him.. (don't forget this letter)..
One day, when she reaches her office ( her office time is 9 to 5.. except for Mondays.. it is 11 to 6 on Mondays. so she has a tendency to sleep in on Mondays)...one of the supervisor called Sierra to her office and told her that there is a new position opening up at the firm.. and she would like Sierra to have the job, as she has been around for some time and also she is qualified for the same..She is asked to meet the CEO on November 5th, Monday.. as that is the only day he is going to be around and that too only for 15 mins..So she is asked to meet him informally at 10 am... eventhough the job is already been set to be given to her, she has to meet him before he leaves for a 3 month business tour.. if she fails to do so, the position will be passed on to someone else before he leaves..
Sierra becomes ecstatic... as she knew after getting this job her entire life will change.. she can move to a nice place...she can afford the things she always wanted to have..she waits anxiously for November 5th.. she preps herself for the meeting..(I don't know why I chose Nov 5th.. may be its the influence of the Back to the Future, Triology..)..
Before you know..it was Sunday, November 4th.. Sierra was really happy thinking what the future beholds..she drank a little too much that day out of happiness.. she set her alarm clock to half past 7.. and went to sleep...
She woke up the next morning and found out that it is already quarter past 9... and her damn alarm let her down once again...she immediately put on the dress she had already ironed and kept ready for the day... it tears up really bad.. so she had to get another dress from her messy closet and puts it on... she runs with all her papers and gets into a taxi..the route the taxi driver takes was already jammed because of an accident.. she was stuck in traffic jam for sometime..by the time she reached the office it was already 10 o'clock... she heads to the elevator and sees an 'OUT OF ORDER' sign on it.. so she uses the stairs instead to reach the 25nd floor...it was already 20 past 10... and the CEO was leaving in his helicopter from the roof.. his assistant told her that he already appointed someone for the post just before he left...a disppointed, frustated Sierra goes back to 22nd floor to her desk and saw someone coming out of the elevator... she asks the person about the OUT OF THE ORDER sign and turns out somebody was playing a prank on them by putting up the 'OUT OF THE ORDER' sign.. (Cut there.. now we are going back to an alternate day)...
November 5th...
Sierra wakes up... she notices the dress she is about to wear is a litte torn on the side.. so she puts on another one.. she gets into a different taxi.. the driver chooses a different route than the previous one.. she reaches the building 5 minutes to 10... she runs to the elevator..sees the 'out of the order' sign... at the same moment.. the service elevator on the corner opens up... she gets in and reaches the 25th floor... just in time for the interview... she has an informal chat with the CEO... he gets really pleased with her...gives her the job and asks the supervisor who recommended her to take her to her designated office room and start an expense account by Sierra's name... both Sierra and the supervisor comes out of the CEO's office.. and goes towards the long corridor.. Sierra looks at the clock on the wall and it is 20 past 10... at the exact same moment the 'other' Sierra comes in and talks to the assistant and finds out that she lost the job...
Now we have 2 Sierras'... one with the high position working at the 25th floor and the other one, the receptionist working at the 22nd floor... both working at the same building at the same time...
From here on.. the alternate life of Sierra Anderson begins..
I hope you liked it so far..
It is time for a break now...
INTERVAL
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
There is no reason for passion
I am in the middle of watching the first part of Indiana Jones for the first time..kind of like one aspect of the character.. his passion for archaeology and expedition...he risks his life for his passion..
I think every living man/woman should have a passion in their life... something they would dedicate their lives for..something they don't mind giving their life for..
Do I have one of those?? Am I passionate about something? I know I like a lot of stuffs.. but am I passionate about those things?? I don't know... I am pretty serious about being a writer sometime in my life.. (I hope it is not too late)... I am really interested in travelling the world...I also have this crazy idea of becoming an actress.. I guess we can cut that off the list... umm.. so writing, travelling, acting.. lets see .. what else... I am interested in playing sports..like badminton, tennis, squash and the like... but it can't be considered as passion..it is something that I am interested in.. thats all...
I am creative in a way..so to speak... I really like my profession.. teaching... I have proved myself to be good at it.. in all possible way...
I think I still have to find out what am I really passionate about?? I guess everything I do I should do it with passion.. just to get a kick of it...
I think every living man/woman should have a passion in their life... something they would dedicate their lives for..something they don't mind giving their life for..
Do I have one of those?? Am I passionate about something? I know I like a lot of stuffs.. but am I passionate about those things?? I don't know... I am pretty serious about being a writer sometime in my life.. (I hope it is not too late)... I am really interested in travelling the world...I also have this crazy idea of becoming an actress.. I guess we can cut that off the list... umm.. so writing, travelling, acting.. lets see .. what else... I am interested in playing sports..like badminton, tennis, squash and the like... but it can't be considered as passion..it is something that I am interested in.. thats all...
I am creative in a way..so to speak... I really like my profession.. teaching... I have proved myself to be good at it.. in all possible way...
I think I still have to find out what am I really passionate about?? I guess everything I do I should do it with passion.. just to get a kick of it...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
What is in a title??? I would say everything!!!
The idea of having a catchy title has always intrigued me.. I am a sucker for titles.. whenever I think about writing something I don't think about what I am going to write... I think about what title should I give for whatever I am going to write.. Once I decide the title, then I draw the graph of the subject for my writing..
Even now.. I thought about the title first and then these words.. I guess its a journalism trick I picked up from reading all those gossip columns in tabaloids..
The title can actually make somebody interested in the topic.. actually it is the title which sparks the enthusiasm of the reader.. if you read an headline which says, "Politician visited Barbados with his wife".. the first impression of the reader would be "So.. big deal!!!".. but if the title is "Politician taking a vacation at Barbados with a woman".. you really want to read it .. eventhough you have no interest in politics or politicians...
That is the magic of Titles..it will turn on your curiosity and will definitely kill the cat...
Even now.. I thought about the title first and then these words.. I guess its a journalism trick I picked up from reading all those gossip columns in tabaloids..
The title can actually make somebody interested in the topic.. actually it is the title which sparks the enthusiasm of the reader.. if you read an headline which says, "Politician visited Barbados with his wife".. the first impression of the reader would be "So.. big deal!!!".. but if the title is "Politician taking a vacation at Barbados with a woman".. you really want to read it .. eventhough you have no interest in politics or politicians...
That is the magic of Titles..it will turn on your curiosity and will definitely kill the cat...
Sunday, June 08, 2008
My day out
I hate shopping for clothes.. the looking, the crowd.. the fitting room.. the holding .. the queues, the paying..its such a drag.. but I do like the idea of having lots of clothes... clothes to wear at home... night dresses..sports outfits..fitness clothes.. casual dresses.. summer clothes..different varieties of clothes..filling up the entire wardrobe...
Shopping for clothes have always been a problem for me..I never know what I want.. I am never satisfied with what I see.. and I always regret what I bought after coming home...
But I was desperate.. all my clothes were out dated and I started to hate them.. all my jeans lost my attention...so I decided to go shopping anyway as I was in a pretty bad shape...
I didnt want to go alone.. so I asked couple of my friends to accompany me.. but unfortunately they were busy with their own things... so I went alone to the city...it has been a while since I went to the city.. so I was pretty excited as I always love going to the city..its energetic, it has got this amazing flow and you just want to go with it without hesitating..
On my way, I saw a nude cycle rally from my bus... naked men and women were riding bicycles and cheering something loudly... I couldnt make out what they were saying... people were standing on the street and taking pictures.. the only thing that I thought then was that.. is such a thing possible from where I come from.. nope.. not even in someone's wildest dreams...
So there I was.. out off the bus.. in the city... and all I had in my mind was to buy a couple of jeans and head back home.. yeah..right...like that is what really happened..
So I was walking on the street.. I saw GAP.. I mean the store.. GAP store... I have always heard on the american sitcoms I watch.. the characters talk about GAP and their shopping experiences there.. so I had this idea that the clothes they wear on the show must be coming from stores like GAP.. so I crossed the road and went in... It was a small store.. not something I had in mind..
I went in and scrolled through the TOP section..nothing seemed to entice me..this has always been a problem .. I have never found a TOP that satisfies me.. not even close...either they are too long or too short..or low necked or low back.. or there must be wrong with everything...by any chance if I like a TOP then it must be really expensive..so I moved on to other sections..watching people trying out their outfits .. discussing the matching and unmatching pairs..
Then I spotted the Jeans section.. without wasting my time I went in searching for the pair of jeans which will make me happy... I dont know much about jeans or any form of clothing for that matter..but I was determined to get skinny jeans instead of wide bottoms... so I was looking and I found jeans with a 32 inch waist.. I have always considered myself to be a waist person.. mainly because it runs in our family and sadly because it is the truth...
I took this 32 inch jeans and a 30 inch jeans..hoping that it will fit me... went to the fitting room.. put on the 30 inch one first..on one side yearnin it to be my exact size and on the other scared whether I will rip it off... to my surprise it was loose for me... I was a little bewildered at that time... I thought may be its a mistake... so I ignored what happened... and I tried on the 32 inch one.. again.. it was loose for me... it was obvious... so I went out and took a 29 inch jeans... went in and tried it on... again ... it was loose... I was ecstactic... no..really!!!
Then I took a 28 inch jeans and went in ... that was a perfect fit..within all angles... so I bought it ....actually I bought 3 of them...
I paid for it.. again I went in to the TOP section.. hoping I will find something now.. but I didnt..so I got out of GAP..
Next I went into NEW LOOK.. I think its a new store... it was pretty impressive and expensive at the same time... couldnt find anything so I moved on...
Next I went to PRIMARK...its claimed to be the cheapest cloth shopping centre in Brighton.. so I went in..looked around... there were lots of stuffs which I liked and cheap too...but one look at the cash counter I changed my mind about buying something... it may take me 5-10 minutes to select something, try it on and decide what I want.. but it will take me the whole day to get paid for it..so I got out..
Then I wandered through the city .. it was lunch time.. I wanted to try out the KFC restaurant at the city... I actually work part time in one of the KFC branches..I just wanted to check what is the difference between the two.. may be this one has something that we dont have.. I went in..looked at the menu..its exactly the same..so I got out.. went into McDonald's and had a chicken sandwich and banana milkshake...
Then I went to the other side of the street.. casually checked through the stores.. actually bought a couple of TOPS... and some workout clothes..went to the bus stop.. saw that my bus wont come for another 20 mins..
So I started walking to the other side.. the side from where I came from.. went into a bookstore.. saw so many tempting books.. the ones that you want soo badly..but can't because you know..once you buy them it will lose your attention.. it will become something that fills up your space.. so I got out from there too...
Next.. I went into MARK & SPENCER... a pretty famous store around the world.. it wasnt that crowded... I went in..looked around.. found somethings I liked.. paid for it...got out... I checked and there was just 1 min for my bus to come.. so I waited... holding my bags...
Within no time.. I reached home.. unpacked my stuffs and tried it on..for some bizzare reason..I liked what I bought... organised my cupboards...
Took a bubble bath... saw some TV... read a magazine and went to sleep...
It wasnt a hectic day.. but its something that I should do more often... get out there..feel new things.. see new people.... instead of locking myself in and complaining about what I dont have...what I should do is to get out there and appreciate what I have in my hand... before its too late...
Shopping for clothes have always been a problem for me..I never know what I want.. I am never satisfied with what I see.. and I always regret what I bought after coming home...
But I was desperate.. all my clothes were out dated and I started to hate them.. all my jeans lost my attention...so I decided to go shopping anyway as I was in a pretty bad shape...
I didnt want to go alone.. so I asked couple of my friends to accompany me.. but unfortunately they were busy with their own things... so I went alone to the city...it has been a while since I went to the city.. so I was pretty excited as I always love going to the city..its energetic, it has got this amazing flow and you just want to go with it without hesitating..
On my way, I saw a nude cycle rally from my bus... naked men and women were riding bicycles and cheering something loudly... I couldnt make out what they were saying... people were standing on the street and taking pictures.. the only thing that I thought then was that.. is such a thing possible from where I come from.. nope.. not even in someone's wildest dreams...
So there I was.. out off the bus.. in the city... and all I had in my mind was to buy a couple of jeans and head back home.. yeah..right...like that is what really happened..
So I was walking on the street.. I saw GAP.. I mean the store.. GAP store... I have always heard on the american sitcoms I watch.. the characters talk about GAP and their shopping experiences there.. so I had this idea that the clothes they wear on the show must be coming from stores like GAP.. so I crossed the road and went in... It was a small store.. not something I had in mind..
I went in and scrolled through the TOP section..nothing seemed to entice me..this has always been a problem .. I have never found a TOP that satisfies me.. not even close...either they are too long or too short..or low necked or low back.. or there must be wrong with everything...by any chance if I like a TOP then it must be really expensive..so I moved on to other sections..watching people trying out their outfits .. discussing the matching and unmatching pairs..
Then I spotted the Jeans section.. without wasting my time I went in searching for the pair of jeans which will make me happy... I dont know much about jeans or any form of clothing for that matter..but I was determined to get skinny jeans instead of wide bottoms... so I was looking and I found jeans with a 32 inch waist.. I have always considered myself to be a waist person.. mainly because it runs in our family and sadly because it is the truth...
I took this 32 inch jeans and a 30 inch jeans..hoping that it will fit me... went to the fitting room.. put on the 30 inch one first..on one side yearnin it to be my exact size and on the other scared whether I will rip it off... to my surprise it was loose for me... I was a little bewildered at that time... I thought may be its a mistake... so I ignored what happened... and I tried on the 32 inch one.. again.. it was loose for me... it was obvious... so I went out and took a 29 inch jeans... went in and tried it on... again ... it was loose... I was ecstactic... no..really!!!
Then I took a 28 inch jeans and went in ... that was a perfect fit..within all angles... so I bought it ....actually I bought 3 of them...
I paid for it.. again I went in to the TOP section.. hoping I will find something now.. but I didnt..so I got out of GAP..
Next I went into NEW LOOK.. I think its a new store... it was pretty impressive and expensive at the same time... couldnt find anything so I moved on...
Next I went to PRIMARK...its claimed to be the cheapest cloth shopping centre in Brighton.. so I went in..looked around... there were lots of stuffs which I liked and cheap too...but one look at the cash counter I changed my mind about buying something... it may take me 5-10 minutes to select something, try it on and decide what I want.. but it will take me the whole day to get paid for it..so I got out..
Then I wandered through the city .. it was lunch time.. I wanted to try out the KFC restaurant at the city... I actually work part time in one of the KFC branches..I just wanted to check what is the difference between the two.. may be this one has something that we dont have.. I went in..looked at the menu..its exactly the same..so I got out.. went into McDonald's and had a chicken sandwich and banana milkshake...
Then I went to the other side of the street.. casually checked through the stores.. actually bought a couple of TOPS... and some workout clothes..went to the bus stop.. saw that my bus wont come for another 20 mins..
So I started walking to the other side.. the side from where I came from.. went into a bookstore.. saw so many tempting books.. the ones that you want soo badly..but can't because you know..once you buy them it will lose your attention.. it will become something that fills up your space.. so I got out from there too...
Next.. I went into MARK & SPENCER... a pretty famous store around the world.. it wasnt that crowded... I went in..looked around.. found somethings I liked.. paid for it...got out... I checked and there was just 1 min for my bus to come.. so I waited... holding my bags...
Within no time.. I reached home.. unpacked my stuffs and tried it on..for some bizzare reason..I liked what I bought... organised my cupboards...
Took a bubble bath... saw some TV... read a magazine and went to sleep...
It wasnt a hectic day.. but its something that I should do more often... get out there..feel new things.. see new people.... instead of locking myself in and complaining about what I dont have...what I should do is to get out there and appreciate what I have in my hand... before its too late...
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
...and then she touched me!!!
I finally did it.. or ..had it... I was waiting for this my entire life.. I can't actually believe that it has happened..after all these years..
I have only seen it on TV and heard about it and dreamt about it in my sleep... for several nights the thought of it has put me into sleep... and the best thing is that I can have it whenever I want to.. the only problem is whether it will be available when I want it...
Before today, I just had it once.. it was not that satisfying... the room was so narrow and smelly.. the bed was made of hard wood and there was nothing on it... the worst part was I was dissatisfied the whole time...
But today...I had it the way I wanted it to be... I wasn't planning for it.. but I really wanted to try it out.. I heard our campus is offering this kind of services..I wanted to get one on my b'day, but couldnt..as it was all booked up and no one was available... so today after going to the gym I just stopped by and asked for a free time slot... luckily, for me there was something available..they asked me to come back after 2 hrs..
I came back home.. thinking about what is going to happen to me today after all this waiting and yearning..
The time has arrived..I reached the spot where I was supposed to reach... the person was waiting for me.. we went into this large room with a soothing smell and lightened candles all over the place.. we sat and talked for a while... then ....it happened..slowly and comfortingly...
In case you are wondering what am I talking about.. its about a wonderful massage I got today... the lady who massaged me..I think she is a physiotherapist... as she was aware of all the muscle parts of the body..like who goes where? whose job is to do that? that kind of stuff...was very kind, understanding and patient with me.. she said the same thing about me too..
So we went into this room which puts you into ease, we talked for a little bit.. about if I had any massages before, what area of my body should she really concentrate on...stuffs like that.. then she asked me to undress myself and lay on the massage table... obviously, she went out, letting me to do so...
There I was, on the massage table waiting for her to come... She came in..set the music, took some massage cream... and then she touched me!! all my muscles woke up at once... and I could feel it.. she worked on the areas that troubled me...it felt like thousands of hands were on my back at the same time...
Eventhough it was really painful I felt really good...all my troubling nerves were scared and ran away in terror...
It was a 1 hour massage... after our session was over she showed me a couple of exercises that I can do in case of any back pain... She asked me to come over again as she has only released the muscles now... she would like to work on the problem areas more deeply...
I tell you for 22pounds it was worth it..
If you haven't had a massage in your lives and you would like to have one, I would suggest that you should go for it.. I m telling you from my own life story...
I have only seen it on TV and heard about it and dreamt about it in my sleep... for several nights the thought of it has put me into sleep... and the best thing is that I can have it whenever I want to.. the only problem is whether it will be available when I want it...
Before today, I just had it once.. it was not that satisfying... the room was so narrow and smelly.. the bed was made of hard wood and there was nothing on it... the worst part was I was dissatisfied the whole time...
But today...I had it the way I wanted it to be... I wasn't planning for it.. but I really wanted to try it out.. I heard our campus is offering this kind of services..I wanted to get one on my b'day, but couldnt..as it was all booked up and no one was available... so today after going to the gym I just stopped by and asked for a free time slot... luckily, for me there was something available..they asked me to come back after 2 hrs..
I came back home.. thinking about what is going to happen to me today after all this waiting and yearning..
The time has arrived..I reached the spot where I was supposed to reach... the person was waiting for me.. we went into this large room with a soothing smell and lightened candles all over the place.. we sat and talked for a while... then ....it happened..slowly and comfortingly...
In case you are wondering what am I talking about.. its about a wonderful massage I got today... the lady who massaged me..I think she is a physiotherapist... as she was aware of all the muscle parts of the body..like who goes where? whose job is to do that? that kind of stuff...was very kind, understanding and patient with me.. she said the same thing about me too..
So we went into this room which puts you into ease, we talked for a little bit.. about if I had any massages before, what area of my body should she really concentrate on...stuffs like that.. then she asked me to undress myself and lay on the massage table... obviously, she went out, letting me to do so...
There I was, on the massage table waiting for her to come... She came in..set the music, took some massage cream... and then she touched me!! all my muscles woke up at once... and I could feel it.. she worked on the areas that troubled me...it felt like thousands of hands were on my back at the same time...
Eventhough it was really painful I felt really good...all my troubling nerves were scared and ran away in terror...
It was a 1 hour massage... after our session was over she showed me a couple of exercises that I can do in case of any back pain... She asked me to come over again as she has only released the muscles now... she would like to work on the problem areas more deeply...
I tell you for 22pounds it was worth it..
If you haven't had a massage in your lives and you would like to have one, I would suggest that you should go for it.. I m telling you from my own life story...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Birthday Resolutions
I am going to celebrate my 27th b'day within less than 5 days from now... I really don't believe it..me... 27... I sure don't look like a 27 yr old woman.. don't feel like it.. its just a number.. chronologically speaking .. I might be 27..
I really don't care how old I look.. bcoz frankly I haven't looked into the mirror for a long time... and mentally... I am still this pathetic little girl who is not being able to let go off the memories of her mid teen years...
27 yrs.. lets see... 10 yrs ago.. all I wanted was a MA degree... meet someone special.. fall in love.. get married with my parents blessings..move to England...bcoz my husband is working there... have twins.. a boy and a girl... lead a quiet life as a housewife...
Now... I have 2 Post graduate degrees... on my way to the third one... a single, unattached woman... trying really hard to be like that for the rest of my life....
What happened??? in these 10 years.. I would like to say.. lots of things... my personal life, my academic life... everything took this unexpected turn and I am living this life I never planned to have.. and I am happy...infact... more than happy..I am content in my current life...
Upto now whatever my life was.. it turned out to be good for me... I had a few hardships in my personal life... but in the end, it all turned out to be fine...
Now, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?? Well... I have made this bunch of birthday resolutions... things that I want to do before I die... I would like to share some of them with you...
Physical
1) Try out different hairstyles and hair colours
2) Maintain a slim figure.. I mean extremely slim figure.. like I am sick or something...
3) Exercise regularly
4) Play sports like badminton, football, basketball etc
5) Involve in adventure sports
Inshort, do a lot of physical exertion...I know it sounds silly and stupid like me.. but hey.. I am a simple girl who like to do simple things...
Now time to do serious things...
1) Travel the world
2) Become a famous writer
3) Do different kinds of jobs
4) Buy a dream house, car and a dog
5) Keep in touch with all my friends
6) Make new friends around the world
7)Learn a new language every year
8) Live my life the way I want to live... no rules .. no regulations...
9) Try not to forget the people who had made an impact on me...
10)Discover and improvise the skills I have
I know these are cliches'..but..these are only the few.... I have made a huge list of things that I need to do with my life...
I can only hope that I will out perform myself inorder to do all those things...
What have I learned from my past life?? well...
Like every normal human being.. we make plans for our lives... how to live .. what to study ..where to go... where not to go..things like that.. sometimes.. things wont go like the way we planned... we get disappointed..frustrated... think that it is the end of the world... if we are someone who believes in God.. we scold Him for not making things happen in our way...
But what we dont know is that .. God has already set a life for us... which is far better than what we have planned... and only time can prove it... thats why He doesnt reply atonce, when we ask Him "why?"...
I have learnt to be patient...to trust and to believe... I hope the same things for you....
Until we meet again..Believe..that things have its own way of working out... no matter what we do or dont do...
I really don't care how old I look.. bcoz frankly I haven't looked into the mirror for a long time... and mentally... I am still this pathetic little girl who is not being able to let go off the memories of her mid teen years...
27 yrs.. lets see... 10 yrs ago.. all I wanted was a MA degree... meet someone special.. fall in love.. get married with my parents blessings..move to England...bcoz my husband is working there... have twins.. a boy and a girl... lead a quiet life as a housewife...
Now... I have 2 Post graduate degrees... on my way to the third one... a single, unattached woman... trying really hard to be like that for the rest of my life....
What happened??? in these 10 years.. I would like to say.. lots of things... my personal life, my academic life... everything took this unexpected turn and I am living this life I never planned to have.. and I am happy...infact... more than happy..I am content in my current life...
Upto now whatever my life was.. it turned out to be good for me... I had a few hardships in my personal life... but in the end, it all turned out to be fine...
Now, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?? Well... I have made this bunch of birthday resolutions... things that I want to do before I die... I would like to share some of them with you...
Physical
1) Try out different hairstyles and hair colours
2) Maintain a slim figure.. I mean extremely slim figure.. like I am sick or something...
3) Exercise regularly
4) Play sports like badminton, football, basketball etc
5) Involve in adventure sports
Inshort, do a lot of physical exertion...I know it sounds silly and stupid like me.. but hey.. I am a simple girl who like to do simple things...
Now time to do serious things...
1) Travel the world
2) Become a famous writer
3) Do different kinds of jobs
4) Buy a dream house, car and a dog
5) Keep in touch with all my friends
6) Make new friends around the world
7)Learn a new language every year
8) Live my life the way I want to live... no rules .. no regulations...
9) Try not to forget the people who had made an impact on me...
10)Discover and improvise the skills I have
I know these are cliches'..but..these are only the few.... I have made a huge list of things that I need to do with my life...
I can only hope that I will out perform myself inorder to do all those things...
What have I learned from my past life?? well...
Like every normal human being.. we make plans for our lives... how to live .. what to study ..where to go... where not to go..things like that.. sometimes.. things wont go like the way we planned... we get disappointed..frustrated... think that it is the end of the world... if we are someone who believes in God.. we scold Him for not making things happen in our way...
But what we dont know is that .. God has already set a life for us... which is far better than what we have planned... and only time can prove it... thats why He doesnt reply atonce, when we ask Him "why?"...
I have learnt to be patient...to trust and to believe... I hope the same things for you....
Until we meet again..Believe..that things have its own way of working out... no matter what we do or dont do...
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Change is inevitable
I am a big buff for sitcoms.. I started to watch American sitcoms in my late teen years and still continues to do so... The thing with sitcoms are, you never wonder about its ending.. you just enjoy each episode minute by minute, week by week, month by month, season by season... frankly..you don't want it to end.. you sort of live it up... you become one of the characters in the series... either the protagonist..or someone close to them.. and in your head... you are giving out all these facial reactions to someone else's weirdosities (I don't know whether such a word exists..but it sounds just right now)... and hear the audience going crazy over something you have said or did... you are happy and well paid in your head...
But when the series ends... I feel this big emptiness... I miss the show, the characters and everything related to them... and I began to wonder what happened to those people in real life.. where are they now and what are they doing?? May be that's because.. you don't see the actor.. you see the character... you are concerned about them... You don't care if Jennifer Aniston broke up with Brad Pitt for cheating on her with Angelina Jolie... even if you were, you will pass it... but when Rachael broke up with Ross, for cheating on her with the girl at the xerox place with the belly button ring... you were concerned... you wanted her to forgive him and get back together..even though it was his fault...
Recently, I happened to catch the season finale episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, FRIENDS and Frasier... When I realised that it is the last episode that I am going to watch of that particular show, I was overwhelmed. Thinking they are leaving me and would only come back as re-runs and that made me feel, well.. kind of sad..
Anyways.. there I was watching the season finale episode, not knowing how it is going to end...
The one thing I have noticed in the endings of the sitcoms is the change the characters overcome. Change in their life, career, relationships, appearance and in many other areas.
I found the ending of Everybody loves Raymond a bit different from this.. nothing is changed there... the meddling parents are still across the street paying helpful visits every five minutes, the giant in secured brother is visiting as always, the wife is upset and angry for reasons which a man will never understand, the kids are angels and Raymond is being an idiot as usual... I mean.. nothing changed.. they are going to live like that for the rest of their lives..then why couldn't they have continued the series...
The ending of FRIENDS on the other hand... showed some class... at least some class to me...the six main characters... 5 of them got married.. 2 pairs married each other and had kids... one of them out of the 5 married an outside guy.. that itself shows change... now they are not the urban singles who hangs out in their uptight high maintenance chef friends' beautiful apartment with a balcony.. they had their own life and things to take care of.. they left the apartment and bought a new house as they now had kids.. which was a wise decision. And what about the 6th one.. what is he doing?? nothing happened to him.. he is not married or in a serious relationship.. his career was not taking him anywhere... all his friends were leaving him... the show ended with an uncertainty on this character...
I was a bit worried about thinking about him... I mean.. what is going to happen to him without his FRIENDS.. Well.. I didn't have to worry that much.. they started a spin off series with him in the title role and without his buddies...but for that, he had to move.. move from The Big Apple to Hollywood..new place, new people and new life..
Same was the case with Frasier... Frasier moved from Boston to Seattle in search of a new life... thus the show 'Frasier' begins... After 11 years of being a successful radio therapist..having ups and downs in his romantic life... meeting so many people... having constant differences with his family in a funny way..his brother getting married for the 3rd time and becoming a father, his father getting married for the 2nd time and his bestfriend getting promoted as the station manager...Frasier is offered a job at San Francisco with more pay and benefits.. but he hesitates at first.. as Seattle is his hometown.. the place where he grew up and where his family is... but when sitting at home alone on a rainy day looking out from the balcony door... he changes his mind and decides to take this big risk...so he flies to San Francisco to take up the new job... On the final episode, Frasier talks about how a man should take risks in their life... Taking a risk means you are willing to change...
When I saw that final episode of Frasier, I started to think about my own life... My life is a somewhat perfect example of how I accept change..All my life, I was living the same way... same town,same house, same address, same phone number, same food,same plate, same cup, same brands, same type of dresses, same friends, same neighbours, same hairstyle, same genre of movies, same TV shows, same places for shopping, same library..and to top it all.. same parents and same brother..-just kidding- and what was wrong with it?? I will tell you what was wrong?? NOTHING...absolutely NOTHING... my life was just fine.. I was surrounded with good people..good food and living in the middle of luxury... I may have to disagree with the hairstyle and dresses..I was never happy with either one of them..but apart from that.. I was in heaven...well..not exactly..but something close to that...
At some point in that due course I started to miss out something...I didn't know quite what it was.. but I was certain..there is something..or in fact.. so many things..I seemed to be holding on to something which never belonged to me in the first place... I didn't want to end up living in my past... I wanted a change.. a change from everything I was so far..I wanted a new chapter in my life... I wanted to start a new series in my life.. I realised if I stay where I was right then..nothing new is going to happen to me.. I will be the victim of a mega serial instead of a reality show.. so I decided to take a risk.. a risk that most of the women of my age will hesitate to take.. I decided to travel from safety to uncertainty.. which seemed impossible for a girl like me... who was always been taken care of, lived in the lap of luxury... for whom any problem can be solved with a phone call... who had a TV, a phone, a computer, a room, and a toilet for herself...
But when I decided to take this risk... the reaction of the people around me surprised me a little bit.. I thought they will be concerned and will try to make me change my mind... but I was wrong.. you know what they said.. they said.."we knew this would happen one day". There weren't surprised or worried about me.. on the other hand..they had confidence and faith in me... and for some reason they are sure that I am going to be more than OK with my new life... ha...amazing...
If I hadn't made this particular change in my life... try to find out what I really want out of it.. I guess..I would have been at my same old house watching the same old re-runs, chatting with my same old friends (which I still do, by the way).. I would have missed out an entire chapter of my life... I think it is like that saying..."Where it appears to be the end of something...it is actually the beginning of something else"...
And now.. I couldn't stop worrying..thinking that..My life is actually getting started....in my way...Oh boy!!!
But when the series ends... I feel this big emptiness... I miss the show, the characters and everything related to them... and I began to wonder what happened to those people in real life.. where are they now and what are they doing?? May be that's because.. you don't see the actor.. you see the character... you are concerned about them... You don't care if Jennifer Aniston broke up with Brad Pitt for cheating on her with Angelina Jolie... even if you were, you will pass it... but when Rachael broke up with Ross, for cheating on her with the girl at the xerox place with the belly button ring... you were concerned... you wanted her to forgive him and get back together..even though it was his fault...
Recently, I happened to catch the season finale episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, FRIENDS and Frasier... When I realised that it is the last episode that I am going to watch of that particular show, I was overwhelmed. Thinking they are leaving me and would only come back as re-runs and that made me feel, well.. kind of sad..
Anyways.. there I was watching the season finale episode, not knowing how it is going to end...
The one thing I have noticed in the endings of the sitcoms is the change the characters overcome. Change in their life, career, relationships, appearance and in many other areas.
I found the ending of Everybody loves Raymond a bit different from this.. nothing is changed there... the meddling parents are still across the street paying helpful visits every five minutes, the giant in secured brother is visiting as always, the wife is upset and angry for reasons which a man will never understand, the kids are angels and Raymond is being an idiot as usual... I mean.. nothing changed.. they are going to live like that for the rest of their lives..then why couldn't they have continued the series...
The ending of FRIENDS on the other hand... showed some class... at least some class to me...the six main characters... 5 of them got married.. 2 pairs married each other and had kids... one of them out of the 5 married an outside guy.. that itself shows change... now they are not the urban singles who hangs out in their uptight high maintenance chef friends' beautiful apartment with a balcony.. they had their own life and things to take care of.. they left the apartment and bought a new house as they now had kids.. which was a wise decision. And what about the 6th one.. what is he doing?? nothing happened to him.. he is not married or in a serious relationship.. his career was not taking him anywhere... all his friends were leaving him... the show ended with an uncertainty on this character...
I was a bit worried about thinking about him... I mean.. what is going to happen to him without his FRIENDS.. Well.. I didn't have to worry that much.. they started a spin off series with him in the title role and without his buddies...but for that, he had to move.. move from The Big Apple to Hollywood..new place, new people and new life..
Same was the case with Frasier... Frasier moved from Boston to Seattle in search of a new life... thus the show 'Frasier' begins... After 11 years of being a successful radio therapist..having ups and downs in his romantic life... meeting so many people... having constant differences with his family in a funny way..his brother getting married for the 3rd time and becoming a father, his father getting married for the 2nd time and his bestfriend getting promoted as the station manager...Frasier is offered a job at San Francisco with more pay and benefits.. but he hesitates at first.. as Seattle is his hometown.. the place where he grew up and where his family is... but when sitting at home alone on a rainy day looking out from the balcony door... he changes his mind and decides to take this big risk...so he flies to San Francisco to take up the new job... On the final episode, Frasier talks about how a man should take risks in their life... Taking a risk means you are willing to change...
When I saw that final episode of Frasier, I started to think about my own life... My life is a somewhat perfect example of how I accept change..All my life, I was living the same way... same town,same house, same address, same phone number, same food,same plate, same cup, same brands, same type of dresses, same friends, same neighbours, same hairstyle, same genre of movies, same TV shows, same places for shopping, same library..and to top it all.. same parents and same brother..-just kidding- and what was wrong with it?? I will tell you what was wrong?? NOTHING...absolutely NOTHING... my life was just fine.. I was surrounded with good people..good food and living in the middle of luxury... I may have to disagree with the hairstyle and dresses..I was never happy with either one of them..but apart from that.. I was in heaven...well..not exactly..but something close to that...
At some point in that due course I started to miss out something...I didn't know quite what it was.. but I was certain..there is something..or in fact.. so many things..I seemed to be holding on to something which never belonged to me in the first place... I didn't want to end up living in my past... I wanted a change.. a change from everything I was so far..I wanted a new chapter in my life... I wanted to start a new series in my life.. I realised if I stay where I was right then..nothing new is going to happen to me.. I will be the victim of a mega serial instead of a reality show.. so I decided to take a risk.. a risk that most of the women of my age will hesitate to take.. I decided to travel from safety to uncertainty.. which seemed impossible for a girl like me... who was always been taken care of, lived in the lap of luxury... for whom any problem can be solved with a phone call... who had a TV, a phone, a computer, a room, and a toilet for herself...
But when I decided to take this risk... the reaction of the people around me surprised me a little bit.. I thought they will be concerned and will try to make me change my mind... but I was wrong.. you know what they said.. they said.."we knew this would happen one day". There weren't surprised or worried about me.. on the other hand..they had confidence and faith in me... and for some reason they are sure that I am going to be more than OK with my new life... ha...amazing...
If I hadn't made this particular change in my life... try to find out what I really want out of it.. I guess..I would have been at my same old house watching the same old re-runs, chatting with my same old friends (which I still do, by the way).. I would have missed out an entire chapter of my life... I think it is like that saying..."Where it appears to be the end of something...it is actually the beginning of something else"...
And now.. I couldn't stop worrying..thinking that..My life is actually getting started....in my way...Oh boy!!!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Introspection
I got this pact from someone's blog. I think it is a good way to know yourself...I thought why not i have my hand on it..in fact.. I do have a lot of things not known to my 'self'..so here goes...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. What is your full name?
Rekha Sreekumar
2. When is your birthday?
May 29th, 1981
3. What is your sex?
Female
4. Do you have siblings?
Yes.
5. Who do you live with?
My 'self'..
6. Are you single?
Of course..yes
7. Do you have pets?
Yes..but he is with my family...
8. What is your hometown?
Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, India
9. Where do you live now?
Brighton, England
What is your favourite...
10.Colour?
Black
11. Day?
Holiday
12. Month?
The hottest
13. Season?
Summer
14. Animal?
Dog
15. Flower?
Nothing in particular
16. TV Show?
Sitcoms
17. Movie?
A lot.. I am a big movie buff...
18. Commercial on TV? T
he really creative ones and also those ones which has the power to touch my heart and make me think...
19. Song?
Soft ones
20. Food?
I'm a foodie...
21. Disney Character?
Nobody in particular
22. Cartoon Character?
Jerry in Tom and Jerry
23. Non-alcoholic drink?
Water
24. Alcoholic drink?
Not an alcoholic.
25. Kind of dessert?
chocolate and butter scotch icecream milkshake...
26. Restaurant?
Nothing in particular..
27. Store?
Not a shopper...
Part 3 - If you could.
28. Go anywhere in the world where would you go?
everywhere in the world
29. Talk to anybody dead or alive who would you choose?
My mother
30. Do anything you wanted to what would you do?
I will rule thw world.. (atleast India)...
31. Change one thing about the world what would you change?
I believe nature has its course..let it be...
32. Have one superpower, what would it be?
Be God's Assistant...
33. Change one thing about your past what would u change?
Nothing... I m who I am now, because of my past...
Part 4 -
What is your least favourite.
34.Colour?
Yellow
35. Day?
The days which I have to get out of my house... which is everyday...
36. Month?
Exam months
37. Season?
Winter/Monsoon
38. Animal?
Cockroach, spiders, lizards..the whole reptile species...
39. Flower?
Any flower that stinks...
40. TV Show?
Mega serials
41. Movie?
offensive to women and the ones boasts up men unreasonably...
42. Commercial on TV?
The ones with poor ideas and illogical products...
43. Song?
that doesnt have the ability to make me dream...
44. Food?
anything not well cooked...
45. Disney Character?
nothing specific
46. Cartoon Character?
nothing specific
47. Non-alcoholic drink?
cranberry juice
48. Alcoholic drink? not an alcoholic.
49. dessert??
Cheese cake...
50. Restaurant?
nothing in specific.
51. Store?
the ones which intimidates the customers...
Part 5 - If you\'re a girl fill this part in (guys skip to part 6).
52. What do you look for in a guy? I am not looking for it...
53. Long or short hair?
54. Book smart or jock smart?
55. Tall or short?
56. Big or little muscles?
57. Sweet/sensitive or Sweet/tough?
WHO CARES !!!!
Part 6 - If you\'re a guy fill this part in (girls skip to part 7)
58. Tall or short?
59. Beauty or brains?
60. What do you look for in a girl?
61. Long or short hair?
62. Curly or straight?
63. Sweet or butch?
Part 7 - The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear....
64. Farm - house
65. Zoo -keeper
66. Red – bull
67. Bug – mania
68. Punk – jerk
69. Ralph - lauren
70. Glue -stone
71. Mouse -town
72. Fire -fox
73. Life – long
74. Phone – card !!
where do u see ur selves 10 yrs from now???
75. With a job?
of course yes...
76. Married?
hell...no....
77. With kids?
nope...
78. In a different town from the one you're in now?
yep...
79. With a pet?
may be...
80. With a lot, or a little money?
enough to lead a decent living...
81. In your own house?
ummm...i think so...
82. Happy?
nope... ecstatic...
83. Still friends with the friends you have now?
depends on them...
Part 9 - What is your favourite memory of...
84. Elementary school?
I was innocent..wasnt complexed as I am right now..
85. Highschool?
No worries except for exams and grades...
86. College?
Falling in love...one of the best thing that has ever happened to me...
87. University?
Finding my spot...
88. Prom?
Not applicable..
89. New Years?
nothing coming to mind at present...
90. St. Patricks day?
Not applicable
91. Christmas?
nothing
92. Halloween?
Not applicable
93. Summer?
holidays...
Part 10 - Would you rather be..
94. Hot or cold?
hot
95. Tired or wired?
Wired...
96. Hungry or full?
Half Full
97. Tall or small?
Tall!
98. A lion or a tiger?
tiger
99. Canadian or American? neither...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you have fun reading about me..I certainly did.... Go ahead..try it.. it will really squeeze your brain and makes you wonder about the answers you come up with..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. What is your full name?
Rekha Sreekumar
2. When is your birthday?
May 29th, 1981
3. What is your sex?
Female
4. Do you have siblings?
Yes.
5. Who do you live with?
My 'self'..
6. Are you single?
Of course..yes
7. Do you have pets?
Yes..but he is with my family...
8. What is your hometown?
Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, India
9. Where do you live now?
Brighton, England
What is your favourite...
10.Colour?
Black
11. Day?
Holiday
12. Month?
The hottest
13. Season?
Summer
14. Animal?
Dog
15. Flower?
Nothing in particular
16. TV Show?
Sitcoms
17. Movie?
A lot.. I am a big movie buff...
18. Commercial on TV? T
he really creative ones and also those ones which has the power to touch my heart and make me think...
19. Song?
Soft ones
20. Food?
I'm a foodie...
21. Disney Character?
Nobody in particular
22. Cartoon Character?
Jerry in Tom and Jerry
23. Non-alcoholic drink?
Water
24. Alcoholic drink?
Not an alcoholic.
25. Kind of dessert?
chocolate and butter scotch icecream milkshake...
26. Restaurant?
Nothing in particular..
27. Store?
Not a shopper...
Part 3 - If you could.
28. Go anywhere in the world where would you go?
everywhere in the world
29. Talk to anybody dead or alive who would you choose?
My mother
30. Do anything you wanted to what would you do?
I will rule thw world.. (atleast India)...
31. Change one thing about the world what would you change?
I believe nature has its course..let it be...
32. Have one superpower, what would it be?
Be God's Assistant...
33. Change one thing about your past what would u change?
Nothing... I m who I am now, because of my past...
Part 4 -
What is your least favourite.
34.Colour?
Yellow
35. Day?
The days which I have to get out of my house... which is everyday...
36. Month?
Exam months
37. Season?
Winter/Monsoon
38. Animal?
Cockroach, spiders, lizards..the whole reptile species...
39. Flower?
Any flower that stinks...
40. TV Show?
Mega serials
41. Movie?
offensive to women and the ones boasts up men unreasonably...
42. Commercial on TV?
The ones with poor ideas and illogical products...
43. Song?
that doesnt have the ability to make me dream...
44. Food?
anything not well cooked...
45. Disney Character?
nothing specific
46. Cartoon Character?
nothing specific
47. Non-alcoholic drink?
cranberry juice
48. Alcoholic drink? not an alcoholic.
49. dessert??
Cheese cake...
50. Restaurant?
nothing in specific.
51. Store?
the ones which intimidates the customers...
Part 5 - If you\'re a girl fill this part in (guys skip to part 6).
52. What do you look for in a guy? I am not looking for it...
53. Long or short hair?
54. Book smart or jock smart?
55. Tall or short?
56. Big or little muscles?
57. Sweet/sensitive or Sweet/tough?
WHO CARES !!!!
Part 6 - If you\'re a guy fill this part in (girls skip to part 7)
58. Tall or short?
59. Beauty or brains?
60. What do you look for in a girl?
61. Long or short hair?
62. Curly or straight?
63. Sweet or butch?
Part 7 - The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear....
64. Farm - house
65. Zoo -keeper
66. Red – bull
67. Bug – mania
68. Punk – jerk
69. Ralph - lauren
70. Glue -stone
71. Mouse -town
72. Fire -fox
73. Life – long
74. Phone – card !!
where do u see ur selves 10 yrs from now???
75. With a job?
of course yes...
76. Married?
hell...no....
77. With kids?
nope...
78. In a different town from the one you're in now?
yep...
79. With a pet?
may be...
80. With a lot, or a little money?
enough to lead a decent living...
81. In your own house?
ummm...i think so...
82. Happy?
nope... ecstatic...
83. Still friends with the friends you have now?
depends on them...
Part 9 - What is your favourite memory of...
84. Elementary school?
I was innocent..wasnt complexed as I am right now..
85. Highschool?
No worries except for exams and grades...
86. College?
Falling in love...one of the best thing that has ever happened to me...
87. University?
Finding my spot...
88. Prom?
Not applicable..
89. New Years?
nothing coming to mind at present...
90. St. Patricks day?
Not applicable
91. Christmas?
nothing
92. Halloween?
Not applicable
93. Summer?
holidays...
Part 10 - Would you rather be..
94. Hot or cold?
hot
95. Tired or wired?
Wired...
96. Hungry or full?
Half Full
97. Tall or small?
Tall!
98. A lion or a tiger?
tiger
99. Canadian or American? neither...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you have fun reading about me..I certainly did.... Go ahead..try it.. it will really squeeze your brain and makes you wonder about the answers you come up with..
Monday, March 17, 2008
Gym tale
Before coming here, I was never a gym member. We had gyms at my hometown, but nothing seemed to be suitable to me, mainly because the time slots they had didnt seem to fit into mine. I always wanted to be an active gym person, whose lifestyle involved a gym and the energy followed by it.
When I was studying for M.Ed, I was a hostalite and our hostal had a gym. As I was the only one who used it, I was Queen of the Castle.I knew all the equipments,bcoz there werent that much. I used it almost everyday, as there was no fees or any other liabilities attached to it. I was free to use it whenever I wanted. It seemed to be like a place built for me.
After completing my course, I came home and working out seemed to be an unattainable dream. When my brother came home for the holidays, I asked him to buy me a couple of gym equipments and he did as per my request. But as the 'honeymoon' was over, my relationship with the equipments was set aside and I moved on with my life. I used them, only when my father reminded me about the dusty machines lying around in the master bedroom.
After coming to England for higher studies, I joined our on-campus gym which is on top of a hill called the 'Boiler Hill'. On the day I took the membership they signed me up for an induction to get familarised with the facilities and the equipments used there. I attended the induction with two other girls. This guy who works there took us and showed us the deep interior areas of the gym and explained us about the working of each machine. We nodded our heads positively, whenever he asked us, 'Are you alright?' or 'Are we okay?', in the typical English way - which is understandable as he is an English guy.
I began to visit the gym twice or thrice a week. For the first few days, I felt like a new fish in the deep blue ocean. I woke up really early, did some warming up and amateur yoga, dress up in the gym suits which I brought from home, walked to the gym which is kind of a work out in itself. Now I know, why they named the hill 'Boiler Hill'.
After reaching the gym, I go to the 1st floor, where the treadmills, cycles and the other cardio vascular equipments are kept. Then I hop on to one of the elliptical cycles, which is my favourite workout. I enjoy it more than the other workouts, which is also fun by the way.
I look around and I see all these people, confident and well versed with the switches and buttons in the machine. They change it to low, medium and high as the time passes. I also see people who listens to music from their i-pod while working out, guys watching news or sports highlights on the small TV screen on their machine, girls watching something not news or sports, somebody is reading a magazine - I still wonder how that works out- I even see people trying to solve the crossword puzzles while doing their work out, I dont know, is it because their brain functions well when the blood is circulating, or is it because after the work out there will be one less thing to do or is it both?
I am interested in those people who do not do any of the above, but lost in their own world. They are doing their thing, they are alone, not communicating with anyone around them, but their mind is indulged in something beyond the control of technology.
If you know anybody who is a 'regular gymmer', you must have noticed the kind of energy and zest they have in everything they do. They are alive, I mean really alive. Every bone, every muscle in their body is working or as in my case 'aching'.
Well... now it has been some months, since I have become a gym member, and I am not ashamed, but infact, I am proud to say that I have become a 'regular gymmer'.
Now, I see all these new people coming into the gym, struggling with the buttons and switches, looking around them seeing all these people involved in their work and probably wondering, when will I become one of them...
When I was studying for M.Ed, I was a hostalite and our hostal had a gym. As I was the only one who used it, I was Queen of the Castle.I knew all the equipments,bcoz there werent that much. I used it almost everyday, as there was no fees or any other liabilities attached to it. I was free to use it whenever I wanted. It seemed to be like a place built for me.
After completing my course, I came home and working out seemed to be an unattainable dream. When my brother came home for the holidays, I asked him to buy me a couple of gym equipments and he did as per my request. But as the 'honeymoon' was over, my relationship with the equipments was set aside and I moved on with my life. I used them, only when my father reminded me about the dusty machines lying around in the master bedroom.
After coming to England for higher studies, I joined our on-campus gym which is on top of a hill called the 'Boiler Hill'. On the day I took the membership they signed me up for an induction to get familarised with the facilities and the equipments used there. I attended the induction with two other girls. This guy who works there took us and showed us the deep interior areas of the gym and explained us about the working of each machine. We nodded our heads positively, whenever he asked us, 'Are you alright?' or 'Are we okay?', in the typical English way - which is understandable as he is an English guy.
I began to visit the gym twice or thrice a week. For the first few days, I felt like a new fish in the deep blue ocean. I woke up really early, did some warming up and amateur yoga, dress up in the gym suits which I brought from home, walked to the gym which is kind of a work out in itself. Now I know, why they named the hill 'Boiler Hill'.
After reaching the gym, I go to the 1st floor, where the treadmills, cycles and the other cardio vascular equipments are kept. Then I hop on to one of the elliptical cycles, which is my favourite workout. I enjoy it more than the other workouts, which is also fun by the way.
I look around and I see all these people, confident and well versed with the switches and buttons in the machine. They change it to low, medium and high as the time passes. I also see people who listens to music from their i-pod while working out, guys watching news or sports highlights on the small TV screen on their machine, girls watching something not news or sports, somebody is reading a magazine - I still wonder how that works out- I even see people trying to solve the crossword puzzles while doing their work out, I dont know, is it because their brain functions well when the blood is circulating, or is it because after the work out there will be one less thing to do or is it both?
I am interested in those people who do not do any of the above, but lost in their own world. They are doing their thing, they are alone, not communicating with anyone around them, but their mind is indulged in something beyond the control of technology.
If you know anybody who is a 'regular gymmer', you must have noticed the kind of energy and zest they have in everything they do. They are alive, I mean really alive. Every bone, every muscle in their body is working or as in my case 'aching'.
Well... now it has been some months, since I have become a gym member, and I am not ashamed, but infact, I am proud to say that I have become a 'regular gymmer'.
Now, I see all these new people coming into the gym, struggling with the buttons and switches, looking around them seeing all these people involved in their work and probably wondering, when will I become one of them...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Nice one
One of my friends forwaded this story to me... For a moment, I thought it is the usual junk...but anyways..I decided to read it... and after reading it, my heart kind of stopped for a moment or two.. I dont know why... may be for once I was face to face with the truth of life...just read it.. and think about it... it is never too late...
"Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others including Love.
One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."
Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.
When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is." "
Didnt I tell you???
"Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others including Love.
One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."
Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.
When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is." "
Didnt I tell you???
Sunday, March 02, 2008
My Pets Part 1
I consider myself to be an animal lover... I believe that everybody who knows me, knows my special affinity towards animals.. Infact, I would like to say that I belong to the category, which is called 'Would never hurt a fly on purpose', which is entirely wrong...I do kill mosquitoes...have killed cockroaches, spiders and even some lizards and will continue to do the same... my favourite dishes include mutton liver and chicken...
Then again.. I love animals... their unconditional love, gratitude, innocence and beautiful faces...
Today, I would like to talk about the animals who were/are in my life... Altogether,I have had 9 pets in my life... 6 dogs and 3 cats... I know... its freaky..
My family belongs to that category, which is incomplete without a pet...we always had pets... by pets .. I mean dogs... we always had dogs in our life... well... I did for sure...
Rocky: Well.. he was my first pet.. I dont remember much about him..not even his face.. except for the fact that he was a German shepherd.. or was he?? I dont even know what happened to him...did he die?? ran away?? sold?? no idea.. I was too young then.. probably 5 years old... I am afraid I cant spare any details about him.. but still when I think about the dogs in my life in a chronological order, for no apparent reason his is the first name that comes up on to my mind... Uh..thats strange..I guess...
Micky : I have a vague memory of him.. he was very naughty and small.. I dont know which breed he belonged to.. but we all ran away when he approached us... he used to bite everyone mercilessly... he died young.. I still remember seeing his dead body.. I didnt really like that dog..we had him right after Rocky... at that age.. I was not an animal lover.. like every kid I used to tease them... hurt them.. or avoided them... well... mickey died... nothing more to be said..
Lassie : She was the only female dog I had... We moved to Trivandrum to a new home... and my father introduced us to Lassie.. she was a german shepherd.. all grown up.. I wasnt really fond of her either... I dont remember petting or playing with her... what I do know is that we gave her up to somebody we knew.. I remember her leaving our house, with this person who is close to our family.. I dont know why we gave her up... frankly.. I didnt care...
Tomy : Now, there is a dog I remember.. Tomy can be considered to be my first dog.. all the rest were our family dogs.. Tomy was mine... I still remember the day he came home.. I was probably 7-8 yrs old... and he was very little.. he came in a carton.. we bought him from a family friend of ours.. who is famous for the no. of dogs they had.. it was sort of a ranch.. only it wasnt..
We bought Tomy from them... he was named by his first owner.. u know... the guy who sold him to us... I wasnt very fond of Tomy in the beginning.. he was very naughty when he was a puppy.. and I was dead scared of him... I remember my brother using him to scare the hell out of me... I even remember screaming at the top of my lungs when he came near me.. all our neighbours had a good laugh about it...
Tomy and I ...we grew up together.. it was my father who vanished my fears I had about Tomy... He didnt do anything in particular... just allowed us to be together for somewhile and showed me the soft side of Tomy... from then on.. I began to love him and vice versa.. may be he was really fond of me from the very beginning.. only..I didnt have a clue...
Tomy loved to run away from home..whenever he saw the gate opened, he went out...and everybody ran after him with his chain... when they brought him back home from the elope episode.. he was beaten up with a red or yellow wire- I really cant remember the exact colour..but I am pretty sure it was either one of them- for some reason he was really scared of that particular wire.. it was sort of a conditional thing.. then I will start crying begging not to beat him... this made him like me even more.. so whenever my parents try to beat me or scold me for something completely my fault.. Tomy used to bark at them.. we all loved it...so when guests came in, my mother used to show them this dog trick.. she pretend to beat me or scold me infront of Tomy and he starts barking.. that was a good show...
One of the things that I liked about Tomy was that he knew how to give a shake hand.. I dont remember how he picked it up..but whenever we held our hands to him for a shake hand he always gave us one.. if he was standing on his skinny four legs, he used to sitdown before he made this royal gesture... it was cute.. I really liked it.. and none of my other pets did it...
He was with us for almost 10 yrs.. Tomy was really scared of lightining and thunder.. oh boy.. really scared that he never leave the house no matter what we did.. He was a handsome dog..
He even had a girlfriend.. there was this female dog who came to visit him and like every caring, loving family we used to scare her away.. but nothing stopped them from being together.. she still continued to visit him for sometime.. then she vanished.. maybe to the wilderness of the forbidden forest...
Tomy went missing one whole day.. we didnt know where he was.. by evening..we were trying to cope with the fact that we lost him forever... but then.. somebody found him and brought him back to us..
We had to give him up.. he was getting too old..10 yrs to be precise and he was showing all sorts of old age symptoms... by the time..we had another dog and Tomy seemed to be unwanted and unloved... and he knew that..
so we gave him up.. I still remember..it was a Sunday..this guy came over to take him away in an autorickshaw.. Tomy never had been in an autorickshaw before..so we had our doubts about that..but to our surprise..he didnt seem to have a problem about that... after 10 yrs with us.. he left us for no fault of his own...
I dont know what happened to him after that.. I wanted to know his whereabouts.. where is he?? who is he with ?? is he being loved?? things like that.. but my mother discouraged me... and I couldn't do anything about it..
I know he must be dead by now.. if he is alive... he must be 18 yrs of age..and I dont think German shepherds live upto that age...
Now, all I can think about is...we didnt even had the chance to say a proper 'Goodbye'...if that makes any sense..
to be continued....
Then again.. I love animals... their unconditional love, gratitude, innocence and beautiful faces...
Today, I would like to talk about the animals who were/are in my life... Altogether,I have had 9 pets in my life... 6 dogs and 3 cats... I know... its freaky..
My family belongs to that category, which is incomplete without a pet...we always had pets... by pets .. I mean dogs... we always had dogs in our life... well... I did for sure...
Rocky: Well.. he was my first pet.. I dont remember much about him..not even his face.. except for the fact that he was a German shepherd.. or was he?? I dont even know what happened to him...did he die?? ran away?? sold?? no idea.. I was too young then.. probably 5 years old... I am afraid I cant spare any details about him.. but still when I think about the dogs in my life in a chronological order, for no apparent reason his is the first name that comes up on to my mind... Uh..thats strange..I guess...
Micky : I have a vague memory of him.. he was very naughty and small.. I dont know which breed he belonged to.. but we all ran away when he approached us... he used to bite everyone mercilessly... he died young.. I still remember seeing his dead body.. I didnt really like that dog..we had him right after Rocky... at that age.. I was not an animal lover.. like every kid I used to tease them... hurt them.. or avoided them... well... mickey died... nothing more to be said..
Lassie : She was the only female dog I had... We moved to Trivandrum to a new home... and my father introduced us to Lassie.. she was a german shepherd.. all grown up.. I wasnt really fond of her either... I dont remember petting or playing with her... what I do know is that we gave her up to somebody we knew.. I remember her leaving our house, with this person who is close to our family.. I dont know why we gave her up... frankly.. I didnt care...
Tomy : Now, there is a dog I remember.. Tomy can be considered to be my first dog.. all the rest were our family dogs.. Tomy was mine... I still remember the day he came home.. I was probably 7-8 yrs old... and he was very little.. he came in a carton.. we bought him from a family friend of ours.. who is famous for the no. of dogs they had.. it was sort of a ranch.. only it wasnt..
We bought Tomy from them... he was named by his first owner.. u know... the guy who sold him to us... I wasnt very fond of Tomy in the beginning.. he was very naughty when he was a puppy.. and I was dead scared of him... I remember my brother using him to scare the hell out of me... I even remember screaming at the top of my lungs when he came near me.. all our neighbours had a good laugh about it...
Tomy and I ...we grew up together.. it was my father who vanished my fears I had about Tomy... He didnt do anything in particular... just allowed us to be together for somewhile and showed me the soft side of Tomy... from then on.. I began to love him and vice versa.. may be he was really fond of me from the very beginning.. only..I didnt have a clue...
Tomy loved to run away from home..whenever he saw the gate opened, he went out...and everybody ran after him with his chain... when they brought him back home from the elope episode.. he was beaten up with a red or yellow wire- I really cant remember the exact colour..but I am pretty sure it was either one of them- for some reason he was really scared of that particular wire.. it was sort of a conditional thing.. then I will start crying begging not to beat him... this made him like me even more.. so whenever my parents try to beat me or scold me for something completely my fault.. Tomy used to bark at them.. we all loved it...so when guests came in, my mother used to show them this dog trick.. she pretend to beat me or scold me infront of Tomy and he starts barking.. that was a good show...
One of the things that I liked about Tomy was that he knew how to give a shake hand.. I dont remember how he picked it up..but whenever we held our hands to him for a shake hand he always gave us one.. if he was standing on his skinny four legs, he used to sitdown before he made this royal gesture... it was cute.. I really liked it.. and none of my other pets did it...
He was with us for almost 10 yrs.. Tomy was really scared of lightining and thunder.. oh boy.. really scared that he never leave the house no matter what we did.. He was a handsome dog..
He even had a girlfriend.. there was this female dog who came to visit him and like every caring, loving family we used to scare her away.. but nothing stopped them from being together.. she still continued to visit him for sometime.. then she vanished.. maybe to the wilderness of the forbidden forest...
Tomy went missing one whole day.. we didnt know where he was.. by evening..we were trying to cope with the fact that we lost him forever... but then.. somebody found him and brought him back to us..
We had to give him up.. he was getting too old..10 yrs to be precise and he was showing all sorts of old age symptoms... by the time..we had another dog and Tomy seemed to be unwanted and unloved... and he knew that..
so we gave him up.. I still remember..it was a Sunday..this guy came over to take him away in an autorickshaw.. Tomy never had been in an autorickshaw before..so we had our doubts about that..but to our surprise..he didnt seem to have a problem about that... after 10 yrs with us.. he left us for no fault of his own...
I dont know what happened to him after that.. I wanted to know his whereabouts.. where is he?? who is he with ?? is he being loved?? things like that.. but my mother discouraged me... and I couldn't do anything about it..
I know he must be dead by now.. if he is alive... he must be 18 yrs of age..and I dont think German shepherds live upto that age...
Now, all I can think about is...we didnt even had the chance to say a proper 'Goodbye'...if that makes any sense..
to be continued....
Part 2
Ah.. where was I?? Oh yes... Still Single!!... well... it created controversies beyond imagination... it dealt with our society's hyprocritical, prejudicist culture which they didn't take well.. but they were afraid to put up any protests or boycoutting the theatre as only few of them felt that way... and the others clearly agreed with whatever I wanted to say through the help of my movie...by the way, I also played the role of the protagonist...
(Well.. I would like to share the story of Still Single,but the real me is planning to write it myself someday.. I don't want anyone to steal my idea)...
After my first directorial debut... ( I dont know if this is the right usage..as debut already indicates it is the first).. everybody thought that from now on I would only concentrate in my acting career... but they were wrong.. I continued my acting jobs...but now.. I am also a writer,model, actor, producer and director..
I am famous for my dignity and integrity... media loves me... audience are fanatic about me.. everybody wants a piece of me - I meant that in a good way- but I keep myself mysterious and unreachable...
There was a time when the media wanted some dirt on me.. so they went to my school/ college friends and asked them about my past life.. only they couldn't get anything as my life was/is a clean slate..
Then out of no where.. somebody started a rumour about me.. the usual thing.. me having an affair with one of my collegues... we only acted together in 3-4 movies.. and we didnt even have a combination scene in one of them.. but in all the others we were paired as lovers and our on-screen chemistry was to die for...and the P.R.executives of those films didnt make it easy for us.. they actually used these rumours for the publicity campaign...and it worked... but then..it all went into ashes.. when the fellow actor declared his marriage with a gal... that would teach them...
The people in the film fraternity have this belief that if I am in their film it is bound to run for a 100 days.. no matter what... I am considered to be a lucky charm..everybody wants to impress me..which is not that easy..
Before accepting a film, I always ask for the final draft of the script.. the one where you dont have to change anything... 90% of the directors wont have it.. they approach you with a one liner... they just give a line of the story and makes you sign the contract...not with me.. I need to know everything.. the story, my character, the importance of my character in the story... after reading the script, I make an appointment with the director for discussion... if I have any questions-which I always do- I ask him then and there... if I disgree with something on the script, I tell him then and there...then I decide whether or not to sign the contract... I am not particular about my salary.. once I sign the contract I put all my efforts in making my character memorable...
People in the film fraternity consider this habit of mine odd ,but working.. some of the actors have chosen to do it my way... I dont know whether they are successful in it or not...
I dont have much friends in the field... but I am cordial with everybody... everybody likes/loves me... if you watch a certain talk show where they use a game called 'rapid fire'... you can see my name coming up lots of times with lots of people..
Now after, working more than 5 languages in India.... written, directed and produced some movies, acted and directed certain unforgettable ad films, receiving 100s of awards including national, state, filmfare and all the other junks... I am moving to Hollywood...
I have been offered a film by none other than Hollywood's greatest, in his next film based on a timeline happening in 1955... where I will be playing the role of a grade school teacher in the 50s who falls in love with an AIDS patient which is obviously played by Hollywood heart throb LD...
I will be going to LA sometime middle of this year after completing certain committments here in India...
I have also signed a contract with the Discovery Travel and Living Channel to do a series on India... discussions are going on that...
And the answer to the question of where do I see myself in 10 yrs?? well... I guess having an extraordinarily fulfilling life... both personal and professional... I know it is a cliche'..but..hey... face it.. it is what we all want...right??
I think what they say is true... Sky is definitely not the limit...
If I was all this for real.. you know ..whatever I told you now.. would the 'other me' want to have an alternate life of a geeky indoorish girl, who is not being able to lose hold of her past and keep wondering what the future have in stock for her and actually forgetting to live her present...
Uh.. guess I will never know...
(Well.. I would like to share the story of Still Single,but the real me is planning to write it myself someday.. I don't want anyone to steal my idea)...
After my first directorial debut... ( I dont know if this is the right usage..as debut already indicates it is the first).. everybody thought that from now on I would only concentrate in my acting career... but they were wrong.. I continued my acting jobs...but now.. I am also a writer,model, actor, producer and director..
I am famous for my dignity and integrity... media loves me... audience are fanatic about me.. everybody wants a piece of me - I meant that in a good way- but I keep myself mysterious and unreachable...
There was a time when the media wanted some dirt on me.. so they went to my school/ college friends and asked them about my past life.. only they couldn't get anything as my life was/is a clean slate..
Then out of no where.. somebody started a rumour about me.. the usual thing.. me having an affair with one of my collegues... we only acted together in 3-4 movies.. and we didnt even have a combination scene in one of them.. but in all the others we were paired as lovers and our on-screen chemistry was to die for...and the P.R.executives of those films didnt make it easy for us.. they actually used these rumours for the publicity campaign...and it worked... but then..it all went into ashes.. when the fellow actor declared his marriage with a gal... that would teach them...
The people in the film fraternity have this belief that if I am in their film it is bound to run for a 100 days.. no matter what... I am considered to be a lucky charm..everybody wants to impress me..which is not that easy..
Before accepting a film, I always ask for the final draft of the script.. the one where you dont have to change anything... 90% of the directors wont have it.. they approach you with a one liner... they just give a line of the story and makes you sign the contract...not with me.. I need to know everything.. the story, my character, the importance of my character in the story... after reading the script, I make an appointment with the director for discussion... if I have any questions-which I always do- I ask him then and there... if I disgree with something on the script, I tell him then and there...then I decide whether or not to sign the contract... I am not particular about my salary.. once I sign the contract I put all my efforts in making my character memorable...
People in the film fraternity consider this habit of mine odd ,but working.. some of the actors have chosen to do it my way... I dont know whether they are successful in it or not...
I dont have much friends in the field... but I am cordial with everybody... everybody likes/loves me... if you watch a certain talk show where they use a game called 'rapid fire'... you can see my name coming up lots of times with lots of people..
Now after, working more than 5 languages in India.... written, directed and produced some movies, acted and directed certain unforgettable ad films, receiving 100s of awards including national, state, filmfare and all the other junks... I am moving to Hollywood...
I have been offered a film by none other than Hollywood's greatest, in his next film based on a timeline happening in 1955... where I will be playing the role of a grade school teacher in the 50s who falls in love with an AIDS patient which is obviously played by Hollywood heart throb LD...
I will be going to LA sometime middle of this year after completing certain committments here in India...
I have also signed a contract with the Discovery Travel and Living Channel to do a series on India... discussions are going on that...
And the answer to the question of where do I see myself in 10 yrs?? well... I guess having an extraordinarily fulfilling life... both personal and professional... I know it is a cliche'..but..hey... face it.. it is what we all want...right??
I think what they say is true... Sky is definitely not the limit...
If I was all this for real.. you know ..whatever I told you now.. would the 'other me' want to have an alternate life of a geeky indoorish girl, who is not being able to lose hold of her past and keep wondering what the future have in stock for her and actually forgetting to live her present...
Uh.. guess I will never know...
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Alternate Life Part 1
I believe that at some point in our life we all want to become a writer. A writer who is well known for the uniqueness in their work. Who has world wide readers waiting impatiently for their favourite author to publish his/her next work, because they know that its going to be better and different than anything that they have ever read.
Lately, I was wondering, if I had an alternate life, an alternate present, what would I want to be. What kind of a life I want to live.
Well...frankly speaking, I didn't have to wonder. The answer was right in front of me.... There are some things in your life, that you don't discuss with others. Some of your secret desires that you don't even say to yourself.
One of my all time secret desire, was to become an actress. Well, there.. I said it... out loud.. for the first time in my life...
But not the kind of actresses that we have right now... who sacrificed their education for an uncertain career in cinema. Or not the types, who had their family to back them up.. or not even the ones..who are labelled as 'model turned actors'...
I am a different kind of actress... I came into the film industry - as it has become a business now- when I was 22 years old.. I finished my education... I didn't have anyone working in the field... overall..I even hated posing infront of the camera to take pictures, even it was with my family... and I never wanted to become an actress..it wasn't even in my wildest of dreams...
But, as you can imagine... somebody spotted me... a debutant director who had a fresh new script and who was desperately in need of a new face... oh..and by the way..its a bollywood movie...he was very frustrated with all the work he had to do to set up everything for his first movie... every pieces of the puzzle was intact, except for the central, most important one...a newcomer to play the main role of his dream project... he set out for auditions in various parts of the country..he did everything he could... but he wasn't successful.. so he took a break..came down to kerala...to ease his mind...
And right there... he saw the girl who is destined to play the character , he was moulding for years... yep..that was me.. now.. don't get into any ideas that he got me just like that.. he had to work for months to make me say 'OK, I will give it a try'...mainly because... I just finished my Post Graduation and didn't have a clue on what to do next.. so I thought of taking a break from my normal life and went on to experience the world of lights, camera and action...
I bid adieu to my family and friends...who thought I was crazy and insane... to take off like that, to act in a movie... I flew to our film capital... Mumbai.. stayed with my family friends... went through some usual craps that all actors have to go through when they start off... honestly.. I never thought it would work out.. I thought at some point they will realise that they made a mistake and will send me back home... but it was the other way around...
I succeeded in every tests... everything they set out for me..even the impossible ones... media still consider my turning in to an actress is the greatest gift that the world of cinema has ever got...
Well... long story short.. I never had to look back from there on.. I became a well known actress who everybody loves for her uniqueness and versatality..
After my first movie - which rocked the entire nation, recieved so many awards, including best debutant (female) thats me...and considered to be a trend setter of all times-I began to start acting in other Indian languages including my own mother tongue...
I won several awards including National Awards and others given out for the amazing talent that I have exhibited...
Movies began to collect the box office just because of my appearance in it... All directors love me and all actors want to romance me on screen.. not to mention off screen...
All actresses want to be like me and wishes to know the secret of my success... which with all my humbleness I bow in front of God... I owe all my suceess to the Almighty.....
When I turned 25, I directed a movie for which I had written the script... The Movie was entitled 'Still Single', it not only rocked the nation, but went international and I won several awards for that....not to mention the controversies I had to face because of that film.. it dealt with a bold subject.. which I will tell u later...
Lately, I was wondering, if I had an alternate life, an alternate present, what would I want to be. What kind of a life I want to live.
Well...frankly speaking, I didn't have to wonder. The answer was right in front of me.... There are some things in your life, that you don't discuss with others. Some of your secret desires that you don't even say to yourself.
One of my all time secret desire, was to become an actress. Well, there.. I said it... out loud.. for the first time in my life...
But not the kind of actresses that we have right now... who sacrificed their education for an uncertain career in cinema. Or not the types, who had their family to back them up.. or not even the ones..who are labelled as 'model turned actors'...
I am a different kind of actress... I came into the film industry - as it has become a business now- when I was 22 years old.. I finished my education... I didn't have anyone working in the field... overall..I even hated posing infront of the camera to take pictures, even it was with my family... and I never wanted to become an actress..it wasn't even in my wildest of dreams...
But, as you can imagine... somebody spotted me... a debutant director who had a fresh new script and who was desperately in need of a new face... oh..and by the way..its a bollywood movie...he was very frustrated with all the work he had to do to set up everything for his first movie... every pieces of the puzzle was intact, except for the central, most important one...a newcomer to play the main role of his dream project... he set out for auditions in various parts of the country..he did everything he could... but he wasn't successful.. so he took a break..came down to kerala...to ease his mind...
And right there... he saw the girl who is destined to play the character , he was moulding for years... yep..that was me.. now.. don't get into any ideas that he got me just like that.. he had to work for months to make me say 'OK, I will give it a try'...mainly because... I just finished my Post Graduation and didn't have a clue on what to do next.. so I thought of taking a break from my normal life and went on to experience the world of lights, camera and action...
I bid adieu to my family and friends...who thought I was crazy and insane... to take off like that, to act in a movie... I flew to our film capital... Mumbai.. stayed with my family friends... went through some usual craps that all actors have to go through when they start off... honestly.. I never thought it would work out.. I thought at some point they will realise that they made a mistake and will send me back home... but it was the other way around...
I succeeded in every tests... everything they set out for me..even the impossible ones... media still consider my turning in to an actress is the greatest gift that the world of cinema has ever got...
Well... long story short.. I never had to look back from there on.. I became a well known actress who everybody loves for her uniqueness and versatality..
After my first movie - which rocked the entire nation, recieved so many awards, including best debutant (female) thats me...and considered to be a trend setter of all times-I began to start acting in other Indian languages including my own mother tongue...
I won several awards including National Awards and others given out for the amazing talent that I have exhibited...
Movies began to collect the box office just because of my appearance in it... All directors love me and all actors want to romance me on screen.. not to mention off screen...
All actresses want to be like me and wishes to know the secret of my success... which with all my humbleness I bow in front of God... I owe all my suceess to the Almighty.....
When I turned 25, I directed a movie for which I had written the script... The Movie was entitled 'Still Single', it not only rocked the nation, but went international and I won several awards for that....not to mention the controversies I had to face because of that film.. it dealt with a bold subject.. which I will tell u later...
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Part time job
Its been 3 months and 11 days since I came to Brighton, England... Since the day I got here, I have been obsessing about getting a part time job, because that's the only way I can make my ends meet without bugging my beloved father anymore... I was trying everything and everywhere.. or so I thought...
Because of the job hunt.. I was not being able to concentrate on my studies as I was supposed to... I was surrounded with people who thought having a part time job is an unnecessary and unappealing strata to their student life...
I always thought it must be a piece of cake for someone like me... who believes that I can do any kind of job... this is the only area where my inferiority complex does not bug me...but I was not successful...
When I started seeing people getting a job, having money with them and live an active life, I became jealous and confronted myself with my over running complexes... but I didn't get an answer...
I was even forgetting the fact that, I am in my dream land and I should go out, make friends and enjoy life like I always wanted to.. but I didn't ... I was sitting at my room, not talking to anybody..finding excuses for staying in and telling it to myself, as I didn't have anyone to talk to...
You must be thinking why such a simple matter should become such a big problem... See... thats where you are wrong... it wasn't a simple matter for me...!!! for me..having a part time meant alot... as it would get me some money of my own..which I could use for so many things..such as shopping, hanging out at the city's cool places, sight seeing, taking part in some of the sporting events and so on....
Even though, one of my flatmate did ask me to accompany her with her friends to a gorgeous thing happening at a place called Eastbourne.. I couldn't go because.. I didnt wanted to spend the money I had with me.... I couldn't enjoy any of the city's cool things because of that...
I couldn't go out of town on my holidays... I was holding back myself and staying in my room, thinking.. the less I went out ..the less money I will be spending...
When I see my classmates go on tours and shopping fiestas and have this "talk" on the cool things they did and the parties they attend everyday.. I sit there, thinking about some excuses to come up with, for not knowing the cool places they were talking about...
Now, by God's grace, I got a job... I just joined today... I dont know whether I will like it, or they will like me... how long will I last.. but one thing is for sure... I will definitely make an effort to change the things they were...and try to live an active and fulfilling life..as I am aware that I am never going to get back these 3 months and 11 days...but I surely dont want to miss the rest of the 9 months that I am gonna be here ....
Because of the job hunt.. I was not being able to concentrate on my studies as I was supposed to... I was surrounded with people who thought having a part time job is an unnecessary and unappealing strata to their student life...
I always thought it must be a piece of cake for someone like me... who believes that I can do any kind of job... this is the only area where my inferiority complex does not bug me...but I was not successful...
When I started seeing people getting a job, having money with them and live an active life, I became jealous and confronted myself with my over running complexes... but I didn't get an answer...
I was even forgetting the fact that, I am in my dream land and I should go out, make friends and enjoy life like I always wanted to.. but I didn't ... I was sitting at my room, not talking to anybody..finding excuses for staying in and telling it to myself, as I didn't have anyone to talk to...
You must be thinking why such a simple matter should become such a big problem... See... thats where you are wrong... it wasn't a simple matter for me...!!! for me..having a part time meant alot... as it would get me some money of my own..which I could use for so many things..such as shopping, hanging out at the city's cool places, sight seeing, taking part in some of the sporting events and so on....
Even though, one of my flatmate did ask me to accompany her with her friends to a gorgeous thing happening at a place called Eastbourne.. I couldn't go because.. I didnt wanted to spend the money I had with me.... I couldn't enjoy any of the city's cool things because of that...
I couldn't go out of town on my holidays... I was holding back myself and staying in my room, thinking.. the less I went out ..the less money I will be spending...
When I see my classmates go on tours and shopping fiestas and have this "talk" on the cool things they did and the parties they attend everyday.. I sit there, thinking about some excuses to come up with, for not knowing the cool places they were talking about...
Now, by God's grace, I got a job... I just joined today... I dont know whether I will like it, or they will like me... how long will I last.. but one thing is for sure... I will definitely make an effort to change the things they were...and try to live an active and fulfilling life..as I am aware that I am never going to get back these 3 months and 11 days...but I surely dont want to miss the rest of the 9 months that I am gonna be here ....
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
New Year Resolutions
Well... another year went by...just like that... I have to admit ...2007 was a fulfiling year for me... I had lots of things in my mind to do for the past year.. and I can confidently say that I did ninety percentage of the things on my list... (just as you know.. I do keep a things to do list)...Let's see what all things happened to me in the last year...
I lost weight..well..i gained it right back... that's not the point.... losing weight is one of the things that is never been rubbed off my list.. I manage to lose 5 kgs in 3 months and gain it right back within no time....amazing..uh...
I was working as a College lecturer.. I proved myself and everybody around me a success in the said profession... All my students passed out with flying colours and they adore me like anything...
I secured the National Eligibility Test, which is considered to be one of the most important Test in India, for lectureship and research.
For the first time, in my entire life I bought my father dinner for my birthday.. We went out to a restaurant that he picked ( which was unusual.. as I am the one who usually picks up the restaurant and he is the one who pays for the junk food I inhale)...and ordered his favourite foods and we had a great time...
When Onam came, I bought him a Set mundu, an off white shirt with a neriyathu...thats the traditional male dress in kerala....he was so happy and he couldn't put it down until it was time for our lunch...
One of my biggest dreams came true in 2007... coming to England.... yep... it was my dream ever since I can remember my face in the mirror... I don't know why I had a dream like that in the first place...
When I was young, I thought of getting married to someone who is working here.. so that I can come here and fulfil my dream... but when I got my senses back.. I have decided to chase it in my own means...
So I looked for jobs...but it wasn't easy as I thought...and my profession didn't make it any easier either.. so I had to come here as a student....
The most thrilling part of this is that , I got admissions from more than 6 universities from England and 1 university from New Zealand.... I am very proud of myself... as I never thought that I will be admitted in any of the UK universities....that's my inferiority complex talking...
Now, as 2007 passed by... I am sitting here ..at my on- campus shared house single room with my laptop taking a bunch of resolutions to start with and also wondering where I will be next year this time....
I lost weight..well..i gained it right back... that's not the point.... losing weight is one of the things that is never been rubbed off my list.. I manage to lose 5 kgs in 3 months and gain it right back within no time....amazing..uh...
I was working as a College lecturer.. I proved myself and everybody around me a success in the said profession... All my students passed out with flying colours and they adore me like anything...
I secured the National Eligibility Test, which is considered to be one of the most important Test in India, for lectureship and research.
For the first time, in my entire life I bought my father dinner for my birthday.. We went out to a restaurant that he picked ( which was unusual.. as I am the one who usually picks up the restaurant and he is the one who pays for the junk food I inhale)...and ordered his favourite foods and we had a great time...
When Onam came, I bought him a Set mundu, an off white shirt with a neriyathu...thats the traditional male dress in kerala....he was so happy and he couldn't put it down until it was time for our lunch...
One of my biggest dreams came true in 2007... coming to England.... yep... it was my dream ever since I can remember my face in the mirror... I don't know why I had a dream like that in the first place...
When I was young, I thought of getting married to someone who is working here.. so that I can come here and fulfil my dream... but when I got my senses back.. I have decided to chase it in my own means...
So I looked for jobs...but it wasn't easy as I thought...and my profession didn't make it any easier either.. so I had to come here as a student....
The most thrilling part of this is that , I got admissions from more than 6 universities from England and 1 university from New Zealand.... I am very proud of myself... as I never thought that I will be admitted in any of the UK universities....that's my inferiority complex talking...
Now, as 2007 passed by... I am sitting here ..at my on- campus shared house single room with my laptop taking a bunch of resolutions to start with and also wondering where I will be next year this time....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)