My father has been asking me this question for some years now... directly, indirectly and in which ever way possible and I always get irritated by this question.... and I ask him back.. “What!! Am I not having a life right now?” and he answers with emotions that I may never undergo… “Is this the way to live”??
Maybe.. this is not the way to live…but this is definitely a way to live… people can live like this…correction.. people do live like this in various parts of the world….
Yes people… my father was asking me about getting married… like it is the only way to live… and because he is my father I always choose the words very carefully when I answer this question…
(I don't know why I get angry/ irritated when I hear questions, opinions and suggestions about getting married from a very young age.. it has always annoyed me...it still does... ummmm... interesting.....)
I have never understood the co-relation between marriage and life… people may be getting married for reasons I may never want to know… but it is one way to lead your life… not the only way to live… just one way… it is a multiple choice… its like telling a heterosexual person that the only way to enjoy sexual intercourse is to become a homosexual… well…something like that…you know what I mean…
(I am doing a 'research' on why do women get married?? so far.. I am getting rather similar kind of responses regarding this matter… I will write about it in a month or so…)
My married friends always ask me about being lonely and the darkness that surrounds you because of loneliness… because you know… I am single… I always tell them.. "I never feel loneliness when I am alone… I enjoy being alone.. it is when I am with other people ..that I crave for loneliness”… Besides.. aren’t we all lonely/alone in one way or the other…which I yearn when I am with people.... even if they are my immediate family or close friends…
Afterall...LONELINESS is not a bad thing... people shouldn ‘t be afraid of it..At a certain point everybody will end up alone.. doesn’t matter if you are married or single… Single people always know they are alone…. So they don’t expect anything from anyone… Married people don’t always or never die together… one of them has to go first.. or in these modern times…leave first.. possibly with another suitor… the kids will fly off their nest too when they are able to do so..(what if you never have kids..no matter what you do about it??) then who is left?? YOU… just YOU…right… so ultimately everyone will end up alone… lucky for me… I enjoy being alone…I prefer to be alone... (unless it is a professional thing).. I can’t even compare that feeling to anything else…its really a perfect feeling (for me)… Solitude…Loneliness… whatever you call it… I LOVE IT… and I am not gonna give that up for anything or anyone...
I have always observed that married people are so co-dependent.. that is ..they depend on each other for almost everything in life…(may be that's why they get married.. to have somebody to depend on..are they??) ..
I know everybody has to depend on somebody for certain things in life, for ex:- the vehicles we use for our daily transportation are not our creation…things like that… but should one need to follow this pattern in personal life too…
Single people don’t ask their married friends, relatives or acquaintances to get a divorce and be single again… right?? Then why is it the other way around…
Let me ask you something…
If a woman of 25 years of age or any age for that matter of fact, wants to live a single life of her choice.. is it not allowable? If she wants to live alone and doesn’t want to ‘depend’ on anybody but herself.. doesn’t she have the right to do so?? Just because she refuses to give in to the social, familial pressure and don't want to 'settle' for other people or may be she just doesn't feel like getting married... or she wants to be single for some other reason or for no reason at all.... should she be considered as a threat and looked down upon?? If so... SCREW EVERYBODY...
(And why does 'getting married' is also referred to as 'settling down'?? I never understood that.. Can you shed some light on this term?? )
Is the only way for a woman to be single is because,
-she couldn’t get married at a certain age,
- she couldn‘t get a matching horoscope (Hindu mythology)
- she/her family couldn‘t find somebody 'good' enough for her
- some personal reasons ( you know.. the 'rape victim', love 'failure', physical/mental problems etc.)...
- she got divorced/separated
- her husband died
Well… if this is what you have been thinking about a woman being single…then ..think again.. because there are women around you who are single by choice… that’s right… they are single.. because they like being single… their single life matters to them, as the married life for the married women…
If you haven’t met anyone like that so far.. then MEET ME… I know..its too early to label me like this... but hey..I can..and I am...
As one of my best friends told me... may be I will never know the hidden bliss attached to the married life... that's because I chose not to know it....
And another thing...Why can't people accept others as they are?? Are we that shallow and narrow minded?? If one decides to chose a (not so) different path without bothering or interfering in your life, why can't you just let them be??
And when does being SINGLE began to define a person as "Sad, depressed, lonely, frustrated and not having a life of your own"...
News Flash People: That's not LIFE..that's HOLLYWOOD talking....
I hate all those English movies which shows women as these desperate creatures who are looking for their 'soulmates' and gets disappointed when they see their friends' getting married... and in the end.. they rush to the airport to stop some guy they fell in love with... and even stops the plane... (OH!! MY GAWD !!!) I mean...come on.... not all women are like that...well.. I am not..
I can't understand why (some of) my friends' can't accept me as I am... If you are my friend.. and you are finding it difficult to accept the fact that I am single and want to be like that for the rest of my life... please don't try to argue with me or change my mind (because it's not gonna work anyways)... instead delete me off from your friends' list... I don't want people like you around me more than you do .. so just do us both a favour.. and cut me off from your 'perfect married or want to be married, don't want to be associated with people like her (that's me) life'...I am not gonna miss you anyways..... Thank you very much....
Also, just because, I am not married, committed or in a relationship with anyone (don't want to be ever) or a lesbian ... doesn't mean that I am a sad, desperate , lonely (in a bad way), frustrated cuckoo head who is jealous of all those 'happy' couples out there...
My relationship status doesn't make me less intelligent, competent, compassionate, creative, stronger, funnier, spontaneous and all those other qualities that I have.. (or I believe to possess)....
I don' t think you should judge anyone on that (or judge anyone for anything at all)....
Once again… there are different ways to live your life.. it is you who have to choose from them…
Just remember… the choice you made may be good or bad (for you) .. but that doesn’t give you the right to look down on other people because they had the courage to choose a different option from the multiple choice…
Who are we to say the right or wrong way to lead a life?? We can only prove it by leading a successful life.. whether married or single or something else….
Let me also add…
SINGLE LIFE ROCKS !!!!
Cheers....
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